Switched!
by Jamie August
Summary: The X-Men run into a mutant with the power to make them switch bodies! Mayhem ensues, especially when the Brotherhood gets involved! HEY! The whole thing is finished now! YAY!
1. The Nightmare Begins

AUTHOR: Jamie August 

SUMMARY: Um. The X-Men run into a mutant whose powers make them all switch bodies! It gets especially interesting when the Brotherhood gets involved . . . 

DISCLAIMER: If they were mine, I'd be a whole heck of a lot richer. Amanda is mine; everyone else has to go back to Marvel when I'm done. Boo. Also, just so I cover every base here, I was already a chapter into this thing when I decided to check and see if anyone else had written anything similar, since body-switching isn't exactly the most original concept in the world (I, in fact, got this idea after watching an episode of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids where everyone ended up in someone else's body. Every TV show has done this at some point. I have a list! I think my personal fave was Farscape. Really, Chiana in D'Argo's body was absolutely hilarious . . . but I digress.). Anyway, imagine my horror when I found a story called "So Into You" by InterNutter (I think) where Kurt and Kitty switched bodies! Eek! But after reading it, I realized mine was different enough to proceed with. (I hope.) Anyway, I just wanted to make it known that I didn't intentionally rip anyone's idea. This just proves two points: 1) Great minds think alike, and 2) There really isn't anything new under the sun! 

FEEDBACK: My back is starving! I still answer all email! augustdragon81@netscape.net 

A/N: For some reason, FFN isn't registering my italics or bold print. Therefore, everything I would have normally italicized is now underlined instead. If anyone has any theories about why FFN is wiping out my italics in every single format (even HTML), email me and let me know.   
  
  
  
  
  


SWITCHED!   
  


Chapter 1: "The Nightmare Begins"   
  


It was nighttime in Bayville. The woods were quiet, disturbed only occasionally by the croak of a frog or the hoot of an owl. Suddenly the peaceful night air was broken by footsteps crashing through the woods. A young teenage girl ran into a clearing and paused, listening for footsteps behind her. In a tree above, an owl hooted. The girl jumped, startled by the sound, and a shimmering bubble of light shot out from her. The giant bubble passed through the tree and hit the owl, along with an unfortunate frog that had hopped to the base of the trunk. Without a backward glance, the girl took off running again.   
  


The owl and the frog looked at each other.   
  


"Hoo-hoo?" questioned the frog.   
  


"Ribbit!" replied the owl.   
  


X X X X X X X   
  


"Hey, wait a minute!" Evan yelled, jumping over a fallen tree limb. "Come back here! We're on your side! We want to help! You're a mutant and so are we!"   
  


"You might want to work on your sales pitch, Spyke," Kitty panted as she ran past him.   
  


The rest of the teenage X-Men followed close on her heels, chasing the new mutant Cerebro had detected just that night. The professor's mutant detection system had informed them that the mutant's name was Amanda Jensen, and she was fifteen years old. Unfortunately, that was all Cerebro had been able to tell them. They had no idea what her power was. And since she'd taken off running as soon as she'd seen the X-Men, it didn't seem they'd be finding out any time soon.   
  


"She went this way!" Scott called. "Come on!"   
  


Now in front, Scott led the others on a zig-zagging course through the woods. They ran into another clearing. It was surrounded by dense forest and huge fallen tree trunks. On the far side of the clearing, Amanda was searching the underbrush for a passable escape route. Not finding one, she turned and glared at the X-Men.   
  


"What do you freaks want with me?"   
  


Jean stepped forward. "We just want to talk to you. We're from a place where you can learn to develop and control your powers."   
  


"Yeah, whatever they may be," Rogue muttered.   
  


"I don't need your help!" Amanda yelled. Another shimmering bubble formed around her and then traveled toward the X-Men. Not caring to watch the damage it was about to cause, Amanda ducked under a half-fallen tree and disappeared into the woods once again.   
  


Before the X-Men had a chance to react, the bubble crashed into them with a bright flash of light. A cloud of dizziness and disorientation settled over their heads, knocking them to the ground. As he landed, Scott's visor flew off.   
  


The X-Men were out cold.   
  


Rogue was the first to recover a few moments later. With her eyes still closed, she rolled over on her side and tried to shake the weird feeling from her head. She could hear the others beginning to stir around her, so she opened her eyes.   
  


A laser-bolt of red light shot out in front of her.   
  


"Scott!" someone exclaimed. "Close your eyes; your shades fell off!"   
  


Was that my voice? Rogue wondered. She knew she hadn't spoken, but it had sounded an awful lot like her own voice!   
  


"Scott!" the voice that sounded like Rogue's shouted again.   
  


"What?" Jean's cranky voice responded.   
  


Beginning to get a horrible idea of what might be going on, Rogue closed her eyes and waited until she felt a pair of shades being slipped on her face. She then opened her eyes and squinted through the red tint at her own face staring down at her.   
  


"Oh, no," she moaned. "Who are you?"   
  


"Uh-oh," the person who looked and sounded like Rogue said. "Guys, I think Scott has amnesia."   
  


"What? No I don't," Jean said. "What are you talking about?"   
  


"Nevermind!" Rogue grabbed the shoulder of the person who looked like her. "Just tell me who you are, all right?"   
  


"I'm Jean."   
  


Evan laughed. "Yeah, right. Have you, like, looked in the mirror lately? You're Rogue."   
  


"What? No, I'm -" she stopped as she spotted Jean's body a few feet away. "No! That's not possible! Who's in my body?"   
  


"In your body? What are you talking about, Rogue? I'm Scott."   
  


"She's not Rogue! I am!"   
  


Jean's eyes widened as she saw Scott trying to climb to his feet. "No! What are you doing in my body?"   
  


"Hey, wait a minute!" Evan interrupted, staring down at his arms. "Am I Evan?"   
  


"No, I am!" Kurt exclaimed, then stopped cold. A puzzled look crossed his face. "Hey, why do I have a German accent?"   
  


Evan zeroed in on Kitty. "You! Who are you?"   
  


"I'm Kurt." Kitty looked down at herself, taking in the tight-fitting X-Men uniform. Her eyebrows shot nearly off the top of her head. "Or maybe not."   
  


"Oh, no." The X-Men stared at one another. Each one was staring at one person more intensely than the others. The common thoughts running through their minds were, What's going on? How did this happen? And, Is that really what I look like?   
  


Finally the shocked silence was broken by Jean (or was it really Scott?). "Well, now I guess we know what Amanda Jensen's power is."   
  


X X X X X X X   
  


"Hold it. Let me see if I've got this straight." Back at the Institute, Logan shook his head and pointed at the teenage X-Men. "You're telling us this kid can make people switch bodies?"   
  


They nodded miserably.   
  


"And all of you have, in fact, switched bodies with one another?" Professor Xavier asked.   
  


They nodded again.   
  


"And I'd like my body back sometime soon, if that's okay!" Evan stamped his foot and a spike flew across the room, impaling an innocent sofa cushion. "Oops."   
  


"Which one are you again?" Logan asked.   
  


"I'm Kitty!"   
  


Logan raised an eyebrow and looked down at the professor. "Maybe we should make them wear nametags."   
  


"What would they say? 'Hello, I'm Kurt, just ignore the fact that I look like Kitty'?" Kitty joked.   
  


"This isn't funny!" Another spike shot across the room, this time killing a poor, defenseless lamp. "Oops. Sorry, Professor. Hey, Evan, how do you control these spikes, anyway?"   
  


"It's kinda hard to explain. Just think of un-spiky things," Kurt replied.   
  


Logan blinked. "This'll take some getting used to."   
  


The professor hid a smile. "Perhaps the nametags would be a good idea."   
  


"Excuse me, but this isn't permanent, is it?" Scott asked.   
  


"And you're really . . . ?"   
  


"Rogue. Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my life as Scott!"   
  


"No offence taken. I'm not exactly looking forward to life as Jean."   
  


"Hello! What about me? I'm used to walking through walls, not shooting bony spikes out of my body every time I move!"   
  


Xavier and Logan exchanged a glance. "I told you not to let them go out recruiting by themselves, Charles."   
  


The professor wheeled himself forward. "I assure you, we will get this straightened out. However, it's too late to do anything about it tonight. Go on to bed, and we'll locate our young friend Miss Jensen tomorrow after school."   
  


"Whoa, wait a minute, Professor," Scott-in-Jean's-body said. "You don't really expect us to go to school like this, do you?"   
  


"That's right!" the real Jean exclaimed. "We can't pretend to be each other. I have soccer practice tomorrow. Do you really want Scott in the girls' locker room?"   
  


"Yeah, and while we're on the subject, I don't want Jean prep-ifying me while she's in my body," Rogue complained.   
  


"You mean I have to stick with your goth-wear?"   
  


"Yes! And remember not to touch anyone!"   
  


"Professor, I really think we should all stay home tomorrow. This is just too weird."   
  


"No, Je - Scott. It might arouse suspicion if so many students from the Institute were to stay home. You must all go to school tomorrow and do the best as the person you now are. Then we will see about finding a way to reverse this . . . situation."   
  


"Yes, Professor," the X-Men chorused with varying degrees of enthusiasm. The conversation ended, the two adults left the room and the kids began trudging toward their bedrooms. Suddenly Kitty stopped and looked down at herself in Evan's body.   
  


"Uh, guys? Whose rooms are we sleeping in tonight? Our own, or the person whose body we're in?"   
  


Jean thought about it for a minute. "Well, it doesn't really matter except for Kitty and Rogue. I'm in Rogue's body, but Kurt is in Kitty's, right? So I don't think it would be appropriate for us to share the room. I think we should all get what we need for the night and go back to our own rooms."   
  


"Ooh, I just thought of something!" Kitty exclaimed. "You guys need to promise not to peek."   
  


"Huh?"   
  


Kitty turned to Kurt and Scott. "Well, I mean, you two are in girls' bodies now, and I know you're going to have to change clothes and everything, so I think you need to promise you won't, you know," she blushed, "peek."   
  


Scott gazed down at Jean's body and started to grin. The perks of the situation hadn't occurred to him until that very moment. "What, you think we'd do that?"   
  


"You'd better not," Jean replied.   
  


"So what are we supposed to do?" Kurt asked. "Close our eyes in the shower?"   
  


"What?!" Kitty shrieked. "You are not showering in my body! No way!"   
  


"Come to think of it, Kitty, you and Rogue are in guys' bodies. How do Evan and I know you girls won't 'peek'?"   
  


"Right, like we would," Rogue muttered.   
  


"Yeah, you know, we girls actually happen to have some degree of self-control, Scott," Kitty added.   
  


"And we don't?" Kurt asked in an injured tone. "Kitty, I won't peek. I promise."   
  


"Good."   
  


"Well, Scott?" Jean demanded.   
  


"What?" he asked innocently. Even with Rogue's face, she managed to throw him a pretty good Jean look. "Okay, I promise. As long as Rogue and Kitty promise, too."   
  


"Personally, I think everyone should promise," Rogue commented. "I mean, we're all entitled to our privacy, right?"   
  


"Yes," Jean agreed. "Let's all promise to respect the bodies we're in and agree not to . . . not to . . ."   
  


"Not to completely wreck the life of the person we've been thrown into?" Rogue suggested.   
  


"Right."   
  


The X-Men agreed, and went from room to room in pairs, gathering up what they needed for the night and the next morning. When Rogue and Scott were alone in his room, she turned to him and tried to remind herself it was really Scott and not Jean she was talking to.   
  


"So, what do you do about the shades at night?" she asked, touching the glasses self-consciously. "I mean, I don't want to wake up in the morning and end up blowing a new skylight through the ceiling."   
  


"Oh, yeah. Hold on." He rummaged through a drawer on the nightstand and came up with a pair of what looked like red-tinted suntanning goggles. "Here you go. They're not the most comfortable things in the world, but they won't fall off during the night."   
  


"Thanks." Rogue took the goggles and the stack of clothes Scott had picked out and began backing toward the door. "Well, uh, goodnight."   
  


"'Night. Tomorrow I'll fill you in on everything else you need to know."   
  


"Okay." Rogue could already tell tomorrow was going to be a very interesting day. She didn't know whether to laugh or scream.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . .


	2. Identity Crisis

  
  
  
  


Chapter 2: "Identity Crisis"   
  
  
  


It was morning at the Xavier Institute. The sun was shining. Birds were singing. Bacon was frying. And . . .   
  


. . . mutants were screaming.   
  


"Oh, god, it wasn't just a bad dream!" Evan's voice broke through the morning air.   
  


"Shut up, Evan!" someone yelled back. It was much too early in the morning to try and figure out who the voice belonged to, let alone who it really was.   
  


"I'm not Evan, I'm Kitty! Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!" With the last "Kitty" there came a noise as if something had hit the wall, then a crash like something falling off the wall.   
  


"Hey, watch it with those things!" Scott's voice shouted.   
  


"Oops."   
  


And that was only the beginning. After the X-Men were all awake and dressed (and had taken valiant measures not to "peek"), the common area rang with complaints, suggestions, and questions.   
  


"Dude, what am I supposed to do with your tail?"   
  


"Jean, I told you not to turn me into a prep! You need to go change! And - oh my god, are you wearing pink lipstick?!"   
  


"What do you mean this sweater makes you look fat?"   
  


"I didn't say anything!"   
  


"Oh. Oh, I get it! Hey, telepathy's kind of cool!"   
  


"Ack! Kurt, you are not going out with me looking like that! Did you even bother to brush my hair?"   
  


"No, no, no! You have to tuck my tail into your pants and then activate the image inducer!"   
  


"Those had better not be Dockers you're wearing, Jean!"   
  


"I'm serious, Kurt, you're not leaving the house like that! Now go put on some make-up!"   
  


THWUMP! CRASH!   
  


"Oh, no, Kitty! Not the tv!"   
  


"Whoops."   
  


And so on. The arguing and complaining continued for several minutes, interspersed here and there with the occasional helpful hint. As tempers calmed, each mutant received a crash course in the life of the person they now were. Some even took it a bit farther than a simple crash course.   
  


That's what Logan walked in on a moment later. He froze in the doorway and just took in the scene. And what a scene it was! To the uninformed observer, Evan had shoved Kitty into a chair and was forcibly applying make-up to her face while she tried to instruct Kurt about his tail and the image inducer. Scott had cornered Rogue and was in the process of wiping pink lipstick from her mouth. Rogue tried to duck away in order to toss Jean a pair of shoes. Suddenly Kitty began squirming in her chair and looked pitifully up at Evan.   
  


"Kitty? I, uh, think I've got your bra on wrong."   
  


Of course, Logan was not an uninformed observer. Even so . . .   
  


"This is something you don't see every day," he commented, watching "Scott" finish "Rogue's" make-up job. Logan shook his head and turned from the strange sight. As he walked down the hall, he called over his shoulder, "Breakfast is ready. I suggest you get down there. The prof wants to give you some last minute instructions."   
  


The mansion rang with the voices of the mutants as they piled into the kitchen. Two feet past the doorway, they were halted by Logan. He held up one hand. From it dangled six string necklaces with attached namecards. "Put these on before you go one step farther."   
  


They obliged, pawing through the tags until they each found their own name. Slipping the tags over their heads, they sat at the table and looked to the professor.   
  


"Just make certain you only wear the nametags around the Institute. Anywhere else would generate unwanted questions," he instructed.   
  


"Does that mean we're going to be stuck like this for a long time?" Kitty demanded. A spike flew out of her arm and crashed into the kitchen television.   
  


"Another tv bites the dust," Kurt observed sadly.   
  


Professor Xavier frowned. "No, Kitty, I hope to have this situation resolved by tonight. In the meantime, perhaps Evan can show you how to control the spikes."   
  


"I did!"   
  


"Could've fooled me," Logan said.   
  


"Excuse me," Kurt broke in, holding up a hand like he was in school. "Could someone pass the bacon this way?"   
  


"No way, Kurt! You are not putting meat in my body!" Kitty exclaimed.   
  


"But -"   
  


"Absolutely not. Huh-uh. No."   
  


"Yes, Kurt, remember what we talked about last night?" Jean asked. "About respecting the body of the person we're in?"   
  


"And not ruining their life," Rogue added, glaring at Jean through the ruby shades. She could only imagine the un-Rogue-like things Jean would do while in possession of her body. This was going to be a disaster!   
  


Kurt stared longingly at the plate of bacon. "I don't see how one slice of bacon could ruin Kitty's life."   
  


"Do you have any idea how bad bacon is for you?"   
  


"But it tastes good!"   
  


"I believe the girls have a valid point, Kurt," Xavier broke in. "That will be the first ground rule. You must all behave as if you are the person whom you look like. That means you don't do anything they wouldn't do. Understood?"   
  


Kurt continued to gaze at the bacon, but nodded along with everyone else.   
  


"Hey, Professor, if I have to act like Jean, does that mean I have to go to her soccer practice? Girls' locker room, remember?"   
  


"Oh, no."   
  


Professor Xavier shook his head. "No, Scott, I don't think skipping one practice would harm anything. Besides, I want you all home immediately after school. Ororo should be back from her vacation by then, so that will put us back to full force and better equipped to deal with this."   
  


"What are the rest of the ground rules?" Scott asked, reaching for a glass of orange juice. As he outstretched his hand, the glass lifted an inch off the table and began floating toward him. Surprised, he jerked back a little. The glass fell back to the table, landing with a thunk. Juice sloshed over the rim and spilled on the table.   
  


"I believe another rule should be no using your powers until you're back in your own bodies," Xavier said, handing Scott a napkin.   
  


A collection of groans and protests went up around the table, accompanied by a couple nods and murmurs of assent.   
  


Kitty protested, "But, Professor, we're not actually, like, using these powers, they're just sort of . . . happening. Like, accidentally."   
  


"I'm aware of that, Kitty, and I have the utmost confidence you children will be able to control it. As for the rest of the rules, just use your best judgement and don't let anyone else know what has happened."   
  


Kurt snorted. "Yeah, like who would believe us?"   
  


"Let's not find out," the professor replied.   
  


Everyone agreed and continued eating breakfast. Kurt shot a few injured glances at the bacon, but finally accepted the vegetarian breakfast Kitty piled on his plate. Things went on in relative peace until Rogue pushed her chair back and began rifling through Scott's backpack.   
  


"What are you looking for?" he asked her.   
  


"Your car keys."   
  


"Excuse me? You are not driving my car."   
  


"Why not? I look like you; why shouldn't I be seen driving your car?" Rogue gave up on the backpack and started checking the pockets of Scott's jacket.   
  


"You can't drive. You don't have a license! No, I'll drive my own car, thank you very much."   
  


"But then it'll look like Jean's driving," Rogue said.   
  


"Yeah, and since when do you let anyone but you drive your car?" Evan asked.   
  


"Yeah, that would just look weird," Kitty chimed in.   
  


Scott sighed. "But she doesn't have a license!"   
  


"She has yours," Evan pointed out.   
  


"Professor!" Six heads turned toward Xavier, expecting him to settle the issue.   
  


The professor closed his eyes briefly. He'd kept silent during the exchange, hoping the children would work it out themselves. Apparently that wasn't going to happen. "When I said you should behave as if you are the person you look like, I did not intend for you to take that to mean you should break the law or endanger yourselves in any way."   
  


Rogue made a face. "Oh, all right."   
  


"Thank you." Scott leaned over her and unzipped a previously unsearched pocket of his backpack. After fishing out his keys, he settled back in his chair and gazed around the table. "Okay, who else is riding with us?"   
  


"Us?" Rogue asked.   
  


Scott nodded. "Well, you're me. If I'm not going to be seen driving my car, I at least need to be seen in the car, right?"   
  


"Oh, yeah." Rogue smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.   
  


"So, I can fit two more in the back," Scott offered.   
  


"I think I should catch a ride with you," Evan said. "I'm still getting used to walking on Kurt's feet." He watched in dismay as his fork fell to the floor. "And using his hands. Man, three fingers are two too few!"   
  


"And five are two too many," Kurt answered, staring at Kitty's hands. "What am I supposed to do with these extras?"   
  


"I hate to interrupt," Jean said, "but it's getting late. We should be going."   
  


"Right. Who else wants a ride?"   
  


"I do!" Kitty volunteered.   
  


"You're not gonna cruise into school on my skateboard? You're supposed to be acting like me."   
  


"Evan, if I tried to ride your skateboard, like, nobody would believe I was you. Especially after I broke my neck."   
  


"Oh, right." He nodded. "Okay, well, I don't want you ruining my rep as a totally thrashin' skateboarder."   
  


"Wouldn't dream of it."   
  


Scott stood and picked up Jean's backpack. There was a racket as everyone finished up and pushed their chairs back. The kids were on their way out of the kitchen when Logan stood and cleared his throat. They turned and looked at him inquisitively.   
  


"Aren't you kids forgetting something?" He drew a finger around his throat.   
  


"Oh! The nametags!" Kitty exclaimed.   
  


"That's right, Porcupine."   
  


"I'm not Porcupine; I'm Half-Pint!"   
  


"And that's why you need the nametags." Logan shrugged. "But not outside the Institute. Take 'em off."   
  


The kids obeyed, shoving the nametags into pockets and backpacks. That done, they continued on their way out of the mansion.   
  


"Have a good day. Just do the best you can!" Professor Xavier called to their retreating backs.   
  


Logan reclaimed his seat and speared a slice of bacon. "You really think you should've let them go to school like that, Chuck?"   
  


"I'm sure they'll be fine," Xavier said. He was silent for a moment, then added quietly, "At least I hope so."   
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . . .   
  



	3. School Daze

  
  
  
  


Chapter 3: "School Daze"   
  
  
  


Third period. Kitty studied Evan's class schedule, trying to figure out where she was supposed to be. Ah, there! Chemistry.   
  


She groaned. Chemistry? As if things weren't bad enough, now she had to try to control the spikes while in a room full of dangerous and possibly lethal chemicals? Great. Just great. She wondered how upset everyone would be if she were to skip Evan's chem lab. After all, the professor had said not to do anything to put themselves in danger. And this was a potentially dangerous situation. If she accidentally let loose with a spike, it could knock over some sort of deadly chemical, or a Bunsen burner or something . . . . Visions of explosions filled her head. No, she really didn't need all this extra stress.   
  


That was it, then. She would cut class and hope everyone understood.   
  


Kitty had just turned and started walking in the opposite direction of the chem lab when she spotted Evan coming her way. He drew up to her and grabbed her by the arm.   
  


"Hey, you're headed the wrong way! I have chemistry next. I mean, you do." He frowned. "Well, actually, I guess we both do. Come on."   
  


"But, Evan, do you really think that's -"   
  


"Whoa, keep your voice down!" He glanced around furtively and pulled her off to the side of the hall. They continued their walk up the hall out of the stream of students. "I'm Kurt. You're Evan, remember?"   
  


She sighed. "Okay, sorry. But do you really think me and chem lab is a good idea? I mean, like, combustible substances and out of control spikes?"   
  


"Don't worry, I'll be there to watch out for you. Besides, you haven't impaled anyone yet, have you?"   
  


"Not yet."   
  


"Then it's not out of control. Anyway, you're not the only one with problems."   
  


Kitty gasped. "You mean you've -?"   
  


"No, no!" Evan shook his head and lowered his voice even more. "Luckily it takes more concentration to teleport than not to. No, it's nothing like that! Kurt had a history quiz this morning that he didn't tell me about. I think I managed to flunk it for him. Not to mention how hard it is to hold a pencil when you only have three fingers. I'd probably do as good a job writing with my toes."   
  


"Not while you're in Kurt's body."   
  


"No kidding." They stopped outside the classroom and he looked at her pleadingly. "Come on. I've already cut chem lab too many times this semester. Just stay calm and don't worry about the - well, you know."   
  


Kitty peeked around the doorway and into the lab. "Is that a substitute teacher?"   
  


Evan peered over her shoulder. "Oh, yeah, a sub! Hey, that's practically like a free period. Nothing to worry about, right?"   
  


"I guess," Kitty said. She was still doubtful, but she followed him into the classroom and sat beside him at the nearest lab table. As soon as he was seated, Evan began fidgeting and dancing around on the chair. Kitty tried not to laugh. "What are you doing?"   
  


He glanced around to make sure no one was listening to them. "It's the tail," he confided. "I haven't been able to find a comfortable position all day! I don't know how Kurt does it, man. Do you have any idea what sitting on a tail feels like?"   
  


"Uh, no, can't say I do." She was going to say more, but was cut off by the sound of the bell ringing. Falling silent, she began paging through the chemistry textbook while the teacher started roll call. Kitty had just managed to convince herself that the bottles of deadly chemicals sitting on the shelves didn't pose any threat to her, when the substitute called out,   
  


"Evan Daniels?"   
  


Kitty continued flipping pages in the textbook, trying to locate the experiment they were scheduled to do that day.   
  


"Evan Daniels? Is Evan here?"   
  


Still absorbed in the hunt for the right page, Kitty didn't notice the looks Evan was giving her until he hauled off and kicked her ankle.   
  


"Ow! What?!" She looked up and saw the whole class staring at her. A few kids snickered. "Oh! I mean, uh, here! Evan, yup, that's me!"   
  


Several more snickers and giggles went up around the room. Kitty leaned forward and buried her head in her arms until the teacher finished roll call. Then, with her voice muffled by her arms and the table, she asked, "Is everyone still staring at me?"   
  


Evan surveyed the room briefly. "Nope. But you might wanna cut out the valley-girl thing, okay?"   
  


She lifted her head just enough to peek around the room. Satisfied that their classmates' attention was focused on the teacher and not her, she settled back in her chair. "Sorry. I'll try to watch that from now on."   
  


"Good. Hey, at least you haven't spiked anyone yet."   
  


"Yeah." Kitty felt a surge of pride at her control. It was true; she hadn't let loose with a single spike since leaving the mansion.   
  


Just then there was a loud banging noise in the hallway. It didn't seem to faze anyone else, but Kitty jumped. She cringed as a spike shot out of her arm and embedded itself in the middle of the chalkboard at the front of the room.   
  


"Uh-oh," Kitty whispered, sliding down in her seat.   
  


Evan's eyes darted around the room. "It's okay. I don't think anyone saw what really happened."   
  


The teacher whirled around and stared at the spike protruding from the chalkboard. She blinked at it a few times, then reached out and casually pulled it from the board. She then turned to the class and brandished the spike while raising an eyebrow.   
  


"This goes a bit beyond throwing spitballs, don't you think, class?"   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Lunchtime. So far, so good.   
  


Rogue slammed Scott's locker shut and leaned against it, grateful for the break from class. Until that day, she'd had no idea how much homework Scott's teachers assigned. Her arms ached from carrying the books around all morning.   
  


Before heading off to the cafeteria for lunch, Rogue realized she needed to use the bathroom. She fought her way into the mob of students streaming in that direction and continued on straight when everyone else turned left. The hall outside the restrooms was virtually deserted, due to the stampede toward the lunchroom. Only a few stragglers remained in the hall.   
  


Unfortunately, two of the stragglers happened to be Lance Alvers and Todd Tolensky. Rogue tried to ignore them as she brushed by. Not really giving it any thought, she walked over to the restroom she was used to using. She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a burst of laughter behind her.   
  


"Hey, Summers," Lance called. "Do you need to have your eye examined, or are you just confirming what we've always known?"   
  


"Yeah, that's the girls' room, yo," Toad added helpfully.   
  


Oh, right. Rogue fought the urge to slap her forehead. Disgusted that she'd forgotten such a basic thing, she turned on her heel and stalked over to the boys' room. The sound of laughter followed her through the door, only silencing when the door wheezed shut.   
  


Once inside, she gazed around the restroom in horror. Either the janitor had taken the month off, or teenage boys were filthy animals with a real talent for destruction. Her educated guess was the latter.   
  


Kicking balled-up paper towels out of her way, she managed to clear a path to the nearest stall. As she reached for the stall door, she discovered several thick streaks of slime dripping from it. She quickly pulled her hand back and wrinkled her nose. Well, if Lance and Toad had just been in the room, that certainly explained why it now resembled a disaster site. Throwing another glance around the room, Rogue shook her head and muttered, "I don't think I really want to know."   
  


Whatever the boys had done to destroy the bathroom, they'd sure been thorough. All the stall doors were slimed so well that Rogue couldn't see any safe spot to touch. Instead, she raised one foot and carefully nudged the door open with her toe. Luckily, it appeared Toad had only slimed the outside of the stalls.   
  


When she was finished at the toilet (and this time it hadn't been so easy not to "peek"), she made her way through the battlefield of paper towels to reach the sink. She washed her hands and turned to the paper towel dispenser, which she quickly discovered was empty. Naturally. By the look of things, Toad and Lance had redistributed the entire contents of the dispenser all around the room. Rogue sighed and leaned over to dry her hands on the legs of Scott's pants.   
  


As she straightened up, she caught sight of Scott's face in an unslimed corner of the mirror. After a quick glance around to make sure she was still alone, Rogue leaned forward until she was almost nose-to-nose with Scott's reflection. She stared into the mirror, transfixed. This was the closest she'd ever seen Scott. She turned her head in all directions, drinking in every detail of Scott's face.   
  


Okay, so maybe this stupid situation did have its perks.   
  


Rogue faced the mirror head-on and licked her lips nervously, fighting an inner battle. Finally she shrugged. Oh, why not? Just to hear what it would sound like coming from him. She stared Scott's reflection straight in the eyes (well, straight in the shades) and whispered, "I love you, Rogue. You're amazing. I can't live without you."   
  


"What are you doing?"   
  


Rogue jumped at the second voice and spun around to see Evan standing in the doorway. No, she corrected herself, not Evan. It was really Kitty. Kitty, standing just inside the bathroom door, staring at Rogue with a half-amused, half-shocked look on her face.   
  


"I'm not doing anything. I was just, uh, checking my hair. Yeah. You know how Scott is about his hair." Rogue tried not to groan. How embarrassing! She couldn't believe she'd been so involved in ogling Scott's reflection that she hadn't heard the door open. At least it had only been Kitty and not . . . well, she shuddered to think who else could have walked in.   
  


"Your hair. Uh-huh. Then, like, why are you blushing?"   
  


"Am I blushing?" Rogue twisted around to the mirror, but through the ruby shades, everything looked like it was blushing.   
  


"You are. Trust me." Trying not to laugh, Kitty looked around the bathroom and immediately scrunched up her face. "So this is the boys' room. Ew. I mean, I knew boys were slobs, but this . . ."   
  


"This," Rogue informed her, "is courtesy of Lance and Toad. They were also kind enough to point out that I almost walked into the girls' room," she added dryly.   
  


"You did? Gee, I figured that one out this morning."   
  


"Good for you." Rogue shook her head and walked to the door. "Did you come in here to do something other than make fun of me?"   
  


Kitty nodded. "Well, yeah, but now that I've seen the place, I think I'll hold it til we get back to the Institute. Ew."   
  


"I know what you mean."   
  


They exited the restroom and almost bumped into Lance and Toad, who were doubled over laughing about something. Rogue shoved past them, but Kitty hung back for a moment and smiled at Lance.   
  


"Hi, Lance!"   
  


He stopped laughing and looked up suspiciously. "Yeah? What do you want, Daniels?"   
  


"Oh." Kitty blushed. "Uh, nevermind. I thought I was someone else. Forget it."   
  


"Huh?"   
  


"Nothing. Forget it."   
  


"Forget what? What're you talking about?"   
  


Even though she didn't really feel like starting anything with any members of the Brotherhood, Rogue figured she'd better rescue Kitty before Lance could ask any more questions. Luckily, he was easily distracted. "Hey, Alvers, some redecorating job you guys did in the bathroom."   
  


The boys started laughing again. "It needed it. You should've seen it before. Boring!"   
  


"Yeah, and you oughtta see what we did to the chem lab, yo!"   
  


Lance scowled. "Shut up, Toad. Remember who we're talking to. The little losers are probably gonna run and tell on us now."   
  


"Like we'd need to. I'm sure the streaks of slime won't give Principal Kelly any idea who did it," Rogue shot back.   
  


Things could have gotten out of control then if Kitty hadn't spotted Kurt walking down the hall at that moment. It was an odd sensation watching her own body walk toward her, but that wasn't what caused her jaw to drop.   
  


He was eating a double cheeseburger.   
  


Kitty elbowed Rogue and pointed. "Look at that," she hissed. "I don't believe it! And after what we talked about this morning, too!"   
  


Realizing exactly whom it was they were talking about, Lance grinned and spun around to wave. "Hi, Kitty!"   
  


Toad snorted. "Hi, Kitty," he mimicked in a ridiculous falsetto. He ducked as Lance's hand flew toward his head. "Hey!"   
  


Ignoring them, the real Kitty ran down the hall toward Kurt. "Oh, Kitty," she called. "Drop that burger! You're a vegetarian, remember?"   
  


Toad and Lance watched in bewilderment as Scott and Evan chased Kitty down the hall, trying to knock the burger out of her hands. Lance drew his eyebrows together in confusion. So Kitty was eating a burger. So what? He was glad. In his opinion, vegetarians were kind of creepy.   
  


Toad narrowed his eyes at the X-Men and shook his head. "Is it just my imagination, yo, or are the X-geeks getting weirder?"   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


The lunchroom was packed. Everywhere Scott looked, students swarmed. Every table was completely full. Someone had started a food-fight a few minutes earlier, so now the room was filled with flying peas, chicken casserole, and tuna surprise. A cup of applesauce was launched in his direction, and he ducked just in time to avoid an applesauce shampoo.   
  


"Forget this," he muttered. It was probably safer outside. Certainly there would be more places to run should anyone else decide to fire their dessert his way. He wasn't entirely sure how Jean would react to a chocolate pudding treatment in her hair, but he was willing to bet she wouldn't be happy about it.   
  


Yes, better to eat lunch outside, out of the line of fire.   
  


He made his way outside and promptly ran head-on into several members of the football team. Expecting trouble, he groaned to himself. Great, he reflected, this day just keeps getting better and better.   
  


Instead of starting trouble, as he might have done had he realized it was really Scott Summers who had just bumped into him, Duncan stopped and smiled. "Hi, Jean. How's it going?"   
  


Oh, wonderful. Even worse than being hit by a jock was being hit on by a jock. Scott quickly revised his previous estimation of how bad the day could get.   
  


Duncan was still waiting for "Jean" to say something. Scott shrugged and began edging away. "Oh, hey Duncan. I was just on my way over there. Lunch, you know. So, uh, bye Duncan."   
  


"Whoa, wait a minute! Why don't we have lunch together? I know this nice little area on the other end of the campus where we can be alone . . ."   
  


Alone? With Duncan? "Uh, I've really got to go meet my friends for lunch. Yeah. Sorry." Scott turned and took off at a power-walk, trying not to run. A few hoots and snickers from the rest of the football team reached his ears and he did his best to ignore them. He had almost reached the safety of the outside lunch tables, just around the corner of the building, when he felt a hand on his arm. His heart sank as he turned and looked up into Duncan's face.   
  


"What's the hurry, Jean?" Duncan's expression was still friendly, but confused.   
  


"Oh, I'm just really hungry, I guess." Scott tried not to roll his eyes. How was he supposed to get through this without ruining Jean's social life? Of course, if it were up to him, he'd erase this idiot show-off from Jean's social calendar altogether . . .   
  


"So, are you coming to the game tonight? I'm starting." Duncan wiggled his eyebrows as if his starting the game was the most exciting thing that could happen in Jean's life.   
  


"Of course you are." Scott smiled sweetly. "Actually, I can't come. I'm busy."   
  


"Oh." Duncan started to frown, then recovered and shrugged. He leaned against the side of the building and subtly flexed his biceps in what he probably thought was a casual show of manliness. "Well, what are you doing tomorrow after school?"   
  


"Uh . . ." With any luck, by tomorrow he'd be back in his own body and wouldn't have to worry about Duncan making a move on him. Still, just in case . . . "Soccer practice. Sorry."   
  


"And after that?"   
  


"Homework. Lots and lots of homework."   
  


"What about Friday?"   
  


"Washing my hair. And more homework. And chores. Lots of chores."   
  


"Okay." Duncan nodded and pushed himself off the wall. "Well, give me a call if something opens up for you. See you later."   
  


"Bye!" Scott called after him. "Have a nice life," he added under his breath.   
  


"What was that all about?" a voice asked from behind him.   
  


Taking a deep breath, Scott forced the guilty look from his face and turned to face Jean. "Hi there, Rogue. How's your day been so far?"   
  


"Not too bad, actually." Jean gave him a tolerant look. "What were you and Duncan talking about?"   
  


Scott felt his face fall. "Oh, you saw that, huh?"   
  


"Yes. I saw, but I didn't hear. What were you talking about?"   
  


"The weather. It's been nice lately, don't you think?"   
  


"Beautiful." Jean tried not to sigh. A couple of kids passed by within earshot, so she smiled sweetly at Scott and said, "Come on, Jean, I'm your friend. You can tell me what Duncan said."   
  


Scott wrestled with himself for a moment, but there was really no question about it. His conscience won after a short fight. "Oh, fine. I think he was asking me out. I put him off for now, but you might want to give him a call when we get this thing straightened out."   
  


Something about Scott's words struck Jean as funny. Fighting to keep a straight face, she asked, "So Duncan asked you out, did he?"   
  


"Yes. It was a dream come true. I could hardly contain myself."   
  


"How often do you do that?"   
  


"Do what?"   
  


"Roll your eyes like that. Under normal conditions we can't tell, but now you're exposed."   
  


"Are you making fun of me?"   
  


"Maybe just a little."   
  


"Great." As much as he tried to fight it, Scott couldn't help but laugh. He motioned around the corner, meaning that they should go find a place to eat. Jean nodded, and they had just taken their first steps when Kurt came flying around the corner and crashed into them.   
  


"Help! Hide me!"   
  


"What's wrong?" Jean asked, alarmed.   
  


"Uh . . . oh, nothing." Kurt quickly hid his hands behind his back. He grinned sheepishly. "Nevermind. Just pretend you never saw me, okay?"   
  


"What - ?" Before Scott could finish his question, Kurt took off running again.   
  


At that moment, Kitty came tearing around the side of the building. She screeched to a halt an inch away from running into Scott and Jean. Bouncing up and down, trying to see past them, she demanded, "All right, where did he go?"   
  


"You mean, uh, Kitty?" Scott asked, directing pointed glances at the students who were passing by. A few of the students were starting to gaze back at the trio with looks usually reserved for those with mental instabilities.   
  


Kitty took the hint. "Yes, I mean Kitty. Kitty," she emphasized her own name with irritation and sarcasm, "is eating a double cheeseburger Gut-Bomb. Kitty seems to have forgotten she is a vegetarian. But even if Kitty weren't a vegetarian, she still would not be wolfing down something which contains three times the recommended daily intake of fat grams! I think Kitty has just made a very big mistake!"   
  


"And you're going to show her the light?" Scott asked.   
  


"Oh yeah, she'll see lights, all right! Lots of them, dancing around her head!" Kitty stamped her foot. "Now which way did she go?"   
  


"That way." Scott pointed in the opposite direction of the way Kurt had gone.   
  


"Thank you." Kitty ran off on the wild goose chase without a second thought.   
  


Jean shook her head. "Well, I suppose we should go find a place to eat. Shall we?"   
  


"You got it."   
  


As Scott and Jean walked away together, a shadow moved under the outside staircase. A second later, Lance and Toad emerged from the hiding place. They'd been crouched under the stairs since fleeing the food-fight they'd started, and from their position, they had heard the entire exchange between the X-Men. Most of it had made no sense to them.   
  


Lance frowned. "What does Daniels care if Kitty eats a burger? And since when does Red turn down a date with a football jock? Something's going on here, Toad."   
  


Toad nodded. "Yup, I told ya. They are definitely getting weirder!"   
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . .


	4. The After-School Special

A/N: Okay, it's come to my attention that some of you nice reviewers want a chart detailing who is in whose body. I understand. I have a chart. I made it up before I even started writing this thing so that I wouldn't get confused. The only problem is, with this chapter, I'm about to confuse things even more, but that's all I can say without spoiling Chapter 4 for you! But I'll go ahead and map things out for you as they currently stand: 

KURT is in Kitty's body. 

EVAN is in Kurt's body. 

KITTY is in Evan's body. 

ROGUE is in Scott's body. 

SCOTT is in Jean's body. 

JEAN is in Rogue's body. 

Eek! There, now you can go make a nice little chart all for yourself, if you should need it! (Work with me, people - things like this are not easy to write in a comprehensible manner! Ever have an idea that you know, you just *know*, is going to be impossible to write, but that stupid little voice insists that you do it anyway, against your better judgment? Yeah. 'Nuff said. But I really am having fun! :-D )   
  


*******   
  


Chapter 4: "The After-School Special"   
  
  
  


Kurt stopped dead in his tracks at the entrance to the gymnasium. Standing in the doorway, he allowed girls to pass him as he gazed into the gym in dismay.   
  


Somehow, he had forgotten that Kitty's last class wasn't coed.   
  


Okay, so it was girls' physical education. He could deal with that. Running, jumping, playing volleyball. No big deal. But then, of course, there was the matter of the girls' locker room. And after all the hassle they'd gone through about not "peeking" . . . . Well, he was pretty sure that also applied to not peeking at the girls in the locker room who wouldn't hesitate to undress in front of "Kitty". He was afraid the temptation might prove too great for him to resist.   
  


He sighed. Nope, better skip this class. Besides, maybe Kitty would give him points for staying out of the girls' locker room. A smile spread across his face. Yeah, maybe Kitty would be impressed by his decency and honor!   
  


"Pryde!" Inside the gym, the coach turned and glared in his direction. "Get in here! The bell's about to ring!"   
  


So much for cutting class.   
  


Kurt trudged through the door and approached the coach, who was a very scary-looking woman who could have crushed bricks with her biceps. Looking up into her stern face, he gulped. "Uh, Coach? I don't think I should play today. I don't feel too well."   
  


"Oh? What's wrong?" she demanded.   
  


"Um . . . girl troubles?" Kurt suggested hopefully.   
  


The coach glared down at him. "Pryde, this is the third time this month that you've complained of 'girl troubles'. You're either a true medical oddity or you're trying to get out of gym class. Now go get suited up."   
  


The woman obviously meant business. Kurt hung his head. "Yes, ma'am."   
  


When he reached the locker room door, he paused for a second. No-Man's Land! Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and dropped his eyes to the floor. At least that way he wasn't likely to see anything that would get him in trouble. On the other hand, he couldn't see the lockers or tell how many girls were still in the room.   
  


He reluctantly raised his head for a quick glance around. About half a dozen girls were standing in front of open lockers, changing into their gym uniforms. Kurt tucked his head down again and edged along the wall until he was behind the occupied row of lockers. He sat down on a bench to wait for the rest of the girls to finish.   
  


After the door had opened and closed several times, he stood and listened closely. All was quiet on the other side of the lockers. He peered around the corner, ready to pull his head back if he saw anyone. He was alone. Walking out into the open to face the row of lockers, he was suddenly faced with another dilemma.   
  


He had no idea which locker was Kitty's.   
  


He turned in a circle, taking in the sight of all the lockers. How was he supposed to figure out which one was hers? Well, he supposed there was a way, but they'd all promised the professor they wouldn't use any powers . . . . He sighed. What choice did he really have?   
  


Starting at the end of the row, Kurt faced the group of lockers Kitty's classmates had been standing in front of. He chose one and concentrated on it. Leaning forward, he brought his head toward the locker. His head smashed into the metal door with a thunk.   
  


"Ow!" Kurt jumped back and rubbed his head. "Guess I didn't concentrate hard enough," he muttered.   
  


One more time. This time, he really focused on passing his head through the locker. He leaned against the locker and slowly pushed forward with his head while he concentrated. After a few seconds, his head popped through and he was staring directly into the locker. Directly into the pitch-black locker.   
  


He groaned. There was no way he could see anything inside without a flashlight.   
  


"Pryde! What's taking you so long in there? Hurry it up!" The coach's voice was right outside the door.   
  


Kurt yanked his head back just as the coach stomped into the room. She scowled at him (it seemed to be her permanent facial expression) and crossed her arms. "Well? What's the problem?"   
  


"Would you believe I can't remember which locker is mine?"   
  


The coach snorted. "You? Yeah, I believe it."   
  


Kurt frowned. What was that supposed to mean? Had this horrible woman (and he used the term loosely) just insulted his Kitty? He glared at the coach while she checked something on her clipboard.   
  


"Locker number two seventeen. Now get a move on, Pryde." The coach turned and slammed out of the locker room.   
  


Kurt stuck his tongue out at the door, then turned to locker 217. He didn't know the combination to the lock, but that wasn't really a problem.   
  


Phasing his hands through the locker door was easy enough, but it took a few tries before he was able to pull the gym uniform out. The first time he tried, his hands simply came out empty. The second time, he managed to pull the uniform halfway out before it got stuck. Third time was the charm. He reached in and pulled the other half through the door without incident.   
  


He kept his eyes trained on the ceiling while he changed, same as he'd done that morning and the night before. True, it made him feel a bit silly, but he wanted to be able to tell Kitty he'd honored the promise not to peek. Of course, it was a little difficult to tell what he was doing, but he managed to get dressed without putting anything on backwards or something goofy like that.   
  


He shoved the clothes he had been wearing into the locker, this time getting them phased through on the first try. Taking a deep breath, he walked out of the locker room to join the volleyball game already in progress.   
  


Everything went just fine for the first ten minutes. If he were to wager a guess, he'd say he was probably doing better at the game than Kitty usually did. At least, none of his teammates were acting like he was screwing up. The only problem with the running and jumping and volleyball was something he'd never really thought of. Being in a girl's body, there were certain things bouncing that he wasn't used to dealing with. It felt weird, and it was distracting!   
  


Perhaps what happened next had something to do with that distraction. Or perhaps it was just Kurt's turn to have an unfortunate incident with powers he wasn't used to. Whatever the reason for the incident, the result was the same.   
  


He was directly in front of the net, playing center forward, when a girl on the opposite side sent the ball flying his way. It should have been an easy return. He raised his hands over his head to meet the ball, and that's when it happened.   
  


The volleyball made contact with his hands, then passed right through them and smacked him in the face.   
  


The force of the impact knocked him back a few steps. He covered his eye and stumbled to the sidelines.   
  


"Pryde!" The coach blew her whistle for time-out and rushed over to the bench. "Are you all right?"   
  


"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I didn't really need two eyes anyway." Kurt collapsed onto the bench and rubbed his eye.   
  


"Let me see." The coach pulled his hand away from his face and inspected the eye. After a few seconds, she drew back and held up one finger. "How many fingers do you see?"   
  


"Uh . . ." Kurt squinted at her. "Three?"   
  


"Okay, go get dressed and head on down to the nurse's office. I'll write you a pass while you change."   
  


"Yes, ma'am." Well, that was one way to get out of gym class. Too bad it was such a painful way. He stood up shakily and began shuffling toward the locker room.   
  


"Oh, Pryde!" the coach called.   
  


Kurt paused and turned to face her. "Yeah?"   
  


"How on Earth did you miss such an easy shot?!"   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


The halls were deserted as Kurt made his way to the nurse's office. He turned the corner of the appropriate hall and spotted Evan walking toward the door to the principal's office. Evan was shuffling along crookedly from the weight of Kurt's backpack slung over one shoulder. His eyes were riveted to the floor, and he obviously hadn't noticed Kurt yet.   
  


A shudder of fear passed through him. What had Evan done to get sent to Principal Kelly's office? And, whatever it was, would it affect Kurt once he was back in his own life again? He froze on the spot and waved his hand at Evan. "Psst!" he hissed.   
  


Evan stopped with his hand an inch away from the doorknob. He glanced up and grimaced slightly when he saw Kurt. Giving the door to the office an uncertain look, he seemed to consider something. After a moment of hesitation, he ducked and ran under the window in the door to meet Kurt at his position. From there, they slid around the corner and stood facing each other. Scuffing his feet on the floor, Evan asked, "So, what's up?"   
  


Noticing that Evan was having trouble meeting his gaze, a fresh lightning-bolt of worry struck Kurt. What could possibly be so bad that Evan couldn't even look him in the eye?   
  


Kurt cleared his throat. "Uh, why were you going to Principal Kelly's office?"   
  


Evan gulped and continued to direct his gaze in the general vicinity of his feet. "Well, it's kinda funny, really. See, I was in the bathroom, and I was looking around and thinking about what a mess it was in there. Then, I kinda wondered what the girls' room looked like, you know, if it was maybe cleaner in there, and . . ." He trailed off and shrugged.   
  


"Oh, no." Kurt closed his eyes for a split second. "Please don't tell me you're about to say what I think you're about to say."   
  


"Yeah. Before I even knew what was happening, I was right there in the girls' room. Then a couple cheerleaders came outta the stalls and saw me and started screaming. I mean, I took off and went back to class, but they came in and told the teacher, and she sent me to Principal Kelly's office. Sorry, man."   
  


Kurt sighed. "I understand. Don't worry too much about it. Actually, I was just thinking maybe we should both go on back to the Institute before we cause any more damage."   
  


Finally Evan raised his gaze to meet Kurt's. Looking directly at him for the first time, his eyes widened. "Whoa, dude, what happened to your eye? Kitty's not gonna be happy you gave her a black eye!"   
  


"Oh, right." Kurt touched the eye and winced despite the minimal amount of pressure he'd applied. "Is it turning black already?"   
  


"Well . . ." Evan inspected it closely. "Right now it's more sort of purplish-brown. Kitty's still gonna kill you. What happened?"   
  


"Volleyball accident. I had my hands up like this," he demonstrated, "and they phased right through the ball. So, of course, it hit me right in the eye."   
  


"Oh, man. Hey, I think getting outta here is a really good idea. If you don't mind me missing the last half of your study hall, I mean."   
  


"No problem. I say we go home and lock ourselves in the tv room until the professor figures something out."   
  


"Now you're talkin!"   
  


The boys began the process of sneaking out of the school, stopping only long enough for Kurt to retrieve Kitty's backpack from her locker. Then they continued on their way, ducking under windows and hiding around corners when necessary. Once outside the school, they began a mad dash for freedom that came to an abrupt halt when they turned a corner of the building and the flagpole came into view.   
  


Standing under the pole, Lance and Toad had already brought the flag down. They were now busily working to attach something else in the flag's place. They had yet to realize Evan and Kurt were standing five yards behind them.   
  


Kurt and Evan exchanged a glance. What were they supposed to do? Sneaking by wasn't a viable option. Turning around and trying to go back through the school was a bad idea. Standing there like doofuses, waiting to be discovered, wasn't the best idea in the world, either. It seemed they didn't have any choice but to walk past Lance and Toad, and just hope there wouldn't be a confrontation.   
  


"Just play it cool," Kurt whispered. Evan nodded. They began walking again, this time at a more sedate speed.   
  


Hearing the footsteps behind them, the two members of the Brotherhood started to turn. As they did so, they were far enough apart for Kurt to see the object they were attempting to run up the flagpole: a pair of pants. He hated to think to whom the pants might belong. It was a typical Brotherhood prank.   
  


As Lance turned, his guarded expression melted into one of delight when his eyes landed on Kurt. He stepped closer to Toad, trying to hide what they were doing to the flagpole. "Hey, Kitty! Are you cutting class, too?"   
  


"Uh, sort of. Well, gotta go. Bye, Lance." Kurt kept walking, hoping that would end things. Naturally, it didn't.   
  


Lance jumped in front of him and gasped. "What happened to your eye, Kitty? Did someone hit you? You want me to take care of them for you? Tell me who it was!"   
  


Evan and Toad rolled their eyes in unison. "Gimme a break," Evan muttered.   
  


"Hey, get lost, you blue-furred freak!"   
  


"C'mon Lance, quit wasting time with these losers," Toad insisted. "We've got better things to do."   
  


"Oh yeah? You mean like running your pants up the flagpole?" Evan smirked.   
  


"Hey, for your info, they ain't my pants. They're some football jock's pants. So there." Toad stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry their way.   
  


Kurt put a hand on Evan's shoulder and pushed him forward. "Let's just keep walking."   
  


Unfortunately, that didn't end things, either. Lance trailed after them, the pants-up-the-flagpole trick forgotten. Toad hesitated, then reluctantly hopped along after him, not wanting to be left behind.   
  


"Hey, Kitty!" Lance called. "How about you ditch the fur-ball and go grab a burger with me?"   
  


"I'm a vegetarian, remember?"   
  


"Didn't look that way at lunchtime," Toad pointed out.   
  


"Well, I had a little slip-up, but Kit - uh, Evan, showed me the error of my ways. I'm all better now."   
  


"Is that who hit you?!" Lance demanded. "Why, that no-good little -"   
  


"No, no! No one hit me!" Kurt sighed in exasperation, but didn't slow his pace. "It was an accident in gym class. Nothing to get upset about, okay?"   
  


"If you say so. Hey, slow down!" Lance's breath was coming hard as he tried to keep up. "What about the mall? You wanna go to the mall?"   
  


Kurt groaned inwardly. Would this torture never end? Didn't Lance get the hint? "Not today, Lance. Why don't you and Toad go play somewhere else for a while?"   
  


"Yeah, like in traffic. Heavy traffic," Evan added.   
  


"Shut up, hairball," Lance growled, then turned his attention back to Kurt. "Okay, look, can I call you later?"   
  


"Lance, I really don't think you get it. I'm not exactly myself today."   
  


"Oh. Who are you, then?"   
  


"Don't ask."   
  


Suddenly Toad's eyes widened and he stopped mid-hop. "Ew! I think she means it's that, uh, special time of the month for girls."   
  


"Huh?" Lance's eyes also widened. "It is?"   
  


"No!" Kurt exclaimed. He doubled his pace to a near-jog. From their current position, they could see the Institute on up the road a little way. Ten more minutes would bring them to the gates.   
  


"Wait! Can I call you?"   
  


Kurt stopped and cast a desperate look up the road. "How about if I call you after school tomorrow?"   
  


"What's the point? We'll see each other in school tomorrow!"   
  


"Then I'll see you in school tomorrow!"   
  


"But -"   
  


"You struck out, Alvers. Give it up!" Evan said.   
  


"Stay out of it, you blue weirdo!"   
  


"He's right, man," Toad broke in. "C'mon, let's lose these X-geeks!"   
  


Before anyone could say anything else, the bushes by the sidewalk parted and a girl ran out. As if surprised to find other people on the sidewalk, she stopped dead in her tracks and stared at them blankly.   
  


Evan nudged Kurt. "Check it out, dude, it's that girl from last night!"   
  


Kurt nodded and addressed the girl. "Listen, Amanda, don't run, okay? We're not going to hurt you. We just need you to come back home with us -"   
  


"Hey, what's goin on here, yo?" Toad stared at the new arrival.   
  


Amanda glared at the four of them. "I thought I told all you freaks to stay away from me!"   
  


"No, we're not with them!" Kurt backed away from Lance and Toad and shook his head. "Amanda, please, we need you to come with us. Do you have any idea what you did to us last night?"   
  


She did have some idea; after all, last night hadn't been the first time she'd used her powers. Still, knowing it and taking responsibility for it were two very different things. "I don't know and I don't care. And I'm sure not going anywhere with you weirdos. Now leave me alone!"   
  


Lance snorted. "Friend of yours, Kitty?"   
  


As Kurt shook his head, Amanda made a break for ir. He shouted to Lance, "Grab her! Don't let her get away!"   
  


Since Lance was closest to Amanda, he did as Kurt said and grabbed for her as she ran by. His hand came down around her wrist, pulling her to an abrupt halt and nearly pulling his own arm out of the socket. "Okay, Kitty, I got her! Now what?"   
  


Almost the instant Lance grabbed her, Kurt realized what a mistake it was to restrain Amanda. He shook his head and began slashing his hands through the air. "No, nevermind! Let her go!"   
  


"Huh?"   
  


Too late. Amanda tried for a second to yank her arm out of Lance's grasp, then she let loose with another one of the shimmering bubbles. The bubble encompassed the four boys, knocking them all to the sidewalk. As Lance fell, his grip on Amanda's arm loosened and she pulled away from him. Before running away, she paused and looked down at them. "You guys can't say I didn't warn you." With that, she took off.   
  


This time, nobody blacked out. The boys landed on their backs, staring up at the sky. An odd blurring sensation occurred in their minds and their vision, and suddenly they were staring up from different perspectives than they had been just a second before.   
  


"Oh, no, not again," Kurt moaned. His tongue felt funny in his mouth. Even so, he hoped that maybe, just maybe, he'd been thrown back into his own body. His heart sank when he spotted his body laid out a few feet away. So who am I? he wondered. He turned his head and saw Kitty's body, then Lance's, so that only left . . . oh, no.   
  


"Toad?!" he exclaimed incredulously. "I'm in Toad?!"   
  


A few feet away, Lance pulled himself up and looked around, taking stock of the situation. "Oh, man, what're we gonna tell the prof?"   
  


"Evan? Is that you?"   
  


"Yeah. Kurt?"   
  


"Yeah. Oh, no. You know what this means?"   
  


They both stared at the bodies of Kitty and Kurt, realizing at the same moment who must be in those bodies if they were the ones in Lance and Toad's bodies.   
  


"This can't be good," Evan moaned.   
  


The person in Kurt's body sat up, still a bit dazed. When he spotted the people around him, all traces of film disappeared from his eyes. "What just happened?! What did that crazy girl do to me?! Oh, god, I'm the blue-furred freak!"   
  


"This really can't be good," Evan repeated.   
  


Whoever was in Kitty's body blinked a few times, then leaped to his feet and whipped his head around with a wild expression on his face. "Hey, what's goin on here, yo?"   
  


"Toad?!" the three other boys exclaimed in unison.   
  


Evan shook his head at Kurt. "Man, Kitty is really gonna kill you!"   
  
  
  


to be continued . . .   
  
  
  
  
  


***A/N: Yes, the Locker 217 thing was a little reference to The Shining and Room 217. Slick, huh? (I bet none of you even noticed that . . .)***   
  


*A/N pt. 3: Should I make a chart of who is who at the beginning of each chapter now? If that'll make things easier for you guys, I'll go ahead and do that for ya. See, I'm a nice person! :-D   
  



	5. A Half-Mile In Your Shoes

A/N: Okay, here's the quick rundown for this chapter: 

KURT is now in Toad's body 

TOAD is now in Kitty's body 

LANCE is now in Kurt's body 

EVAN is now in Lance's body 

Everyone else is the same as before: KITTY is in Evan; SCOTT is in Jean; JEAN is in Rogue; ROGUE is in Scott. Enjoy!   
  


*******   
  


Chapter 5: "A Half-Mile In Your Shoes"   
  
  
  


"Okay, wait. So, what you're telling me is, neither one of you is really Kitty?"   
  


Kurt sighed. It was the third time Lance had asked that question. Quite frankly, it was starting to get on his nerves. "That's right. Neither one of us is really Kitty. Sorry to disappoint you."   
  


"So who've I been flirting with today?"   
  


"Me. Kurt."   
  


"Ew!" A horrified look crossed his face. "Great. First I was flirting with you, now I'm stuck in your body?" Lance turned and glared at Toad. "Why couldn't I have ended up wearing Kitty's body? This sucks!"   
  


Kurt rolled his eyes. "Trust me, being Kitty isn't as much fun as you might think."   
  


"No kiddin, yo. Man, what'd you do, punch her in the face?" Toad rubbed at Kitty's black eye.   
  


It had taken a while, but Kurt and Evan had managed to explain the situation, or at least as much as they understood about it. They got the feeling that Lance and Toad wouldn't have believed a word of it if it hadn't happened to them. When everything had been laid out for them, Lance and Toad's first impulse was to chase after Amanda and force her to switch them back. Fortunately, Kurt managed to talk them out of it by pointing out that every time they backed Amanda into a corner, bad things happened.   
  


Now, they were still sitting on the sidewalk trying to get their bearings and figure out what came next. At least, three of them were. Toad wasn't paying much attention. A few minutes earlier, he'd taken to staring with great interest at Kitty's chest.   
  


"So now what're we supposed to do?" Lance demanded of Kurt. "I don't wanna be stuck as you forever."   
  


"What, you think I'm enjoying being Toad?"   
  


"Huh?" Toad finally looked up from his chest when he heard his name. It took a second for Kurt's words to work their way from his ears to his brain. When they did, he frowned. "Hey, what's wrong with being me?"   
  


"You must be joking. For one thing, I've got slime in unmentionable places. I smell like the bottom of an aquarium. And I've suddenly developed this weird craving for flies."   
  


"So?"   
  


Kurt shook his head. "Forget it."   
  


"Hello? Did you hear what I said?" Lance waved a hand in the air. "What do we do now?"   
  


"We all have to go back to the Institute and wait for Professor Xavier to figure out how to fix this," Evan said.   
  


"No way."   
  


"Oh, yeah? So what would you suggest, Alvers?"   
  


"I suggest you and Fuzzy go running back to Baldie. Me and Toad will take care of ourselves."   
  


"Really? You planning on going back to the Brotherhood House?" Evan asked.   
  


"Yeah. So?"   
  


Kurt snorted. "You think they'll let you guys in? They'll think you're Kitty and Kurt, and even if you tried to explain things to them, do you think Fred and Pietro are going to believe you? I don't think so."   
  


"Well, we're not gonna go crawling to the professor with the two of you! C'mon, Toad!" Lance jumped to his feet and immediately pitched forward, off balance. As he fell, Kurt leaped up and reached out to steady him. When he was sure he could keep his balance, Lance pulled away from him. "I don't need any help from you!"   
  


"Well, I wasn't trying to help you. I just wanted to make sure you didn't break one of my legs or something."   
  


"You wouldn't have to worry about that if your feet weren't so weird!" Lance took a few experimental steps toward the end of the sidewalk. "Man, this is torture. How do you walk on these things?"   
  


"Yo, you're in Blue-Boy. Why bother walkin at all? You could just pop over to wherever you wanna go," Toad pointed out.   
  


"Hey, yeah!"   
  


"No!" Kurt and Evan yelled in unison.   
  


"Don't tell me what to do! I don't have to listen to you X-geeks!"   
  


"Yes you do, unless you want to be stuck as me for the rest of your life. I don't think you want that. Or Toad. Toad, do you really want to be Kitty for the rest of your life? Cuz that's what's gonna happen if you guys run off," Kurt said.   
  


Lance stopped to consider Kurt's words while Toad stared down at Kitty's body and said, "Actually, ya know, this ain't so bad."   
  


"Shut up, Toad!" Lance hissed. Maybe being Kitty wasn't too bad, but the thought of being the blue-furred freak for the rest of his life terrified him! Besides, he wanted Kitty back in her own body. It was sort of creepy to look at her and know it was Toad in there.   
  


"What? It ain't so bad, that's all I'm sayin. Kitty smells real nice, yo. I didn't know girls smelled this good."   
  


"That's because no girl has ever let you get close enough to smell her." Lance sighed and glared at Kurt. "Okay, fine. We'll go back to the Institute with you and wait for Xavier to come up with a solution. But as soon as we're switched back, we're outta there! Happy?"   
  


"Thrilled. Let's go."   
  


"Fine."   
  


"Fine."   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Outside the doors of the mansion, the group stopped. Kurt took a deep breath. "Wait. Before we go in . . ."   
  


"What?" Evan asked.   
  


Kurt didn't respond. Instead, he grabbed Toad, turned him around, and reached into Kitty's backpack.   
  


"Hey, what're you doin? Let go 'a me!"   
  


"Hold still! I'm looking for something." Kurt rummaged through the backpack until he recovered his nametag. He slipped the nametag necklace over his head and glanced at Evan.   
  


"Oh! Good idea." Evan turned to Lance.   
  


"Uh, here." Lance slid the backpack off his shoulders and held it out for Evan to dig through, then took it back when the nametag had been located.   
  


Everybody looked to the door, then looked around at one another, then looked back to the door. They all had their own reasons for not being too eager to go inside just yet. Finally, because the silence was starting to get to him a bit, Evan shrugged and nervously said, "So, I, uh, guess we're the first ones home, huh?"   
  


Lance checked Kurt's watch. "Probably, since school only let out two minutes ago, genius." He continued to stare at the watch curiously. "Hey, what does this button do?"   
  


"No! Don't touch tha -"   
  


Before the last word had left Kurt's mouth, Lance pressed the button in question. The holographic visage around him fizzled and vanished. He looked down at himself and blinked at the blue fur covering his body. He raised his hands and took in the fact that they each had only three fingers. "Oh."   
  


"That button," Kurt said quietly, "turns off my image inducer."   
  


"Oh," Lance repeated.   
  


"At least we weren't out in the open when you did that," Kurt muttered.   
  


"Hey, I didn't know! It's not like these buttons are labeled or anything!"   
  


"So you always run around pressing unlabeled buttons?" Kurt shook his head. "Oh, look who I'm asking! You probably do! Nevermind."   
  


"Man, I'm glad he's not in my body," Evan commented.   
  


"C'mon, it's not my -"   
  


At that moment, the front door opened. Lance stopped in the middle of his protest. All four boys turned to the door, where Logan stood giving them a level stare.   
  


"Were you kids planning on coming in, or were you gonna stand out here yelling all afternoon?" He didn't wait for a reply. Pointing at Kurt and Evan, he narrowed his eyes. "What are these two doing here?"   
  


Evan nudged Kurt. "Dude, the nametags were his idea and now he's not even bothering to read them?"   
  


Kurt nodded. "I know how this looks, but I'm not really Toad and that's not really Lance. See?" He held up his nametag and smiled hopefully.   
  


"Nuh-uh! He's lyin! He really is Toad, yo!" Toad exclaimed gleefully. "He just wants in so he can go mess up all the X-ge - uh, X-Men stuff!"   
  


"Nice try." Logan raised an eyebrow and stepped aside, holding the door open. "Get in here, all of you. We'll let the prof straighten this out."   
  


"Idiot!" Lance hissed to Toad.   
  


"What? What'd I do?"   
  


Inside the mansion, the boys made their way through the foyer. Logan followed close behind, keeping an eye on them. In the front room, Ororo looked up curiously as the group passed.   
  


"Hey, Auntie O!" Evan called. "How was your vacation?"   
  


"Uh, fine . . . Lance." She shot an inquisitive look at Logan.   
  


"That's Evan."   
  


"But I thought -"   
  


Logan held up a hand to silence her. "You know that really long story Chuck and I just finished telling you?"   
  


Ororo nodded.   
  


"Well, it looks like someone just added a new chapter to it."   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


After the adults sat them down in the professor's study, the boys explained what had happened outside the school. In the middle of their explanation, Logan busied himself making two more nametags. Without so much as a word, he dropped the finished products over Lance and Toad's heads and gave them a look as if daring them to complain about it. They scowled but remained silent.   
  


By the time the explanation was finished, the rest of the X-Men were arriving home from school. The front door slammed shut and several footsteps pounded up the stairs. Scott's voice shouted, "Hello? Is anyone here?"   
  


Ororo walked to the doorway and called, "We're in here!"   
  


As the footsteps came closer, Kurt panicked. "Oh, no, is Kitty out there? Hide me, quick!"   
  


Too late. Scott, Rogue, and Kitty walked into the study and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw who was sitting on the couch.   
  


"What are they doing here?" Kitty asked.   
  


"Here we go again," Evan muttered.   
  


"Perhaps we should wait for Jean before we go through this again," Professor Xavier suggested.   
  


"But she's right there!" Lance pointed at Scott.   
  


Kurt kicked him at the same moment Scott squinted at him. "What's the matter, Evan? You already forgot who's who?"   
  


The professor raised an eyebrow. "Scott, I believe it would be a good idea for all of you to put your nametags back on. There's been another incident. That is no longer Evan."   
  


"Oh. So who is it?" From his position, Scott couldn't see their nametags, but he didn't have a good feeling as he slipped his own tag over his head.   
  


"What's the matter, Summers, you can't read?" Lance turned and held his tag aloft, enjoying himself for the first time since all this had begun.   
  


Kitty froze with her nametag halfway over her head. "Wait a minute. You're Lance?"   
  


"Yup."   
  


A horrible sinking feeling filled the pit of her stomach. "Who is in my body? Please tell me it's still Kurt. It is still Kurt, right?"   
  


"Hey, you're Kitty? You mean you've been in Daniels all day?" Lance asked. He ran the day over in his mind, trying to remember if he'd said anything insulting to "Evan".   
  


Kitty ignored him. She circled around the couch until she was facing her own body. After a quick glance at the nametag, she closed her eyes and counted to ten, feeling the blood drain from her face. She slowly opened her eyes and said very calmly and quietly, "Toad. Toad is in my body. You're really Toad?"   
  


"Yeah." He grinned up at her. "Hey, your skin is really soft an' stuff. Do you use moisturizer or sumthin?"   
  


Kitty blinked at him a few times, her face growing paler with every passing second. "Excuse me a moment."   
  


She turned and walked from the room as if in a trance. The rest of the group heard a door slam somewhere not too far down the hall. A split second after that, the silence was shattered by a long, shrill scream and several thumping and crashing noises.   
  


Kurt smiled nervously. "Well, she took it better than I expected."   
  


"Wow. I didn't know my voice could hit that high a note," Evan said in wonder.   
  


Before anyone could comment any further, Kitty stomped back into the study. She stopped in front of Kurt and Evan's couch and put her hands on her hips. Glaring at them, she demanded, "All right, which one of you is Kurt?"   
  


Kurt slapped his hand over his nametag and pointed at Evan. Evan pointed back at Kurt. Together they chorused, "He is!"   
  


Unfortunately for Kurt, Kitty zeroed in on him right away. She switched her glare back and forth between him and Toad. "And which one of you gave me that black eye?"   
  


"He did!" Toad pointed. "He told me he punched you in the face!"   
  


"What?!" Kurt's jaw dropped. "I did not! It was a volleyball accident in gym class."   
  


"Gym class?! You went to my gym class? Were you in the girls' locker room?"   
  


"Uh . . ." Kurt glanced around the room, wishing someone would step in before he said something that would really get him in trouble. With every word out of his mouth, he seemed to be digging his grave deeper and deeper. "Yeah, but I kept my eyes shut the whole time."   
  


"Why didn't you tell the coach you were sick?"   
  


"I did! I told her I was having, uh . . ." Oh, why wouldn't someone shut him up?! "Well, you know, troubles, and she said it was the third time this month that you'd complained of, well . . . that kind of thing . . ."   
  


Kitty closed her eyes and counted to ten again. When she looked back at Kurt, there was raw murder in her eyes. Very softly she said, "You told her what now?"   
  


Kurt's eyes widened. Well, that had certainly been the wrong thing to say! He just hoped his funeral would be a nice one. Against his better judgment, he opened his mouth again. "The only reason I had to tell her that was because she spotted me before I could sneak out of the gym!"   
  


That wasn't the brightest thing to say, either.   
  


"Excuse me?" Kitty's hands clenched into fists. "You tried to ditch my gym class?"   
  


"Uh, well . . ."   
  


Luckily for Kurt, Evan chose that moment to get involved. "So? You tried to ditch my chem lab."   
  


"And you flunked Kurt's history quiz!" Kitty shot back. "So what?"   
  


"You flunked my history quiz?"   
  


Toad nudged Lance. "Hey, this is startin ta get good, yo!"   
  


"Children, children!" Professor Xavier called. "Now is not the time for the pointing of fingers. I'm sure all of you did some things today that you don't want to admit -"   
  


Rogue began to cough violently. She leaned over and pounded herself on the chest.   
  


"Are you all right?" Scott asked.   
  


"Yeah. Fine," she managed to choke out.   
  


"As I was saying," the professor continued after giving Rogue a wise look, "I'm sure some things happened to all of you today that you don't feel like sharing, and now is not the time for it, anyhow. What we need to do now is -"   
  


Suddenly Scott whirled around to face Rogue again. His jaw dropped open. "You did what to me?! What happened to the whole thing about not peeking and respecting the person whose body you're in? That was all your idea, remember?"   
  


"Not peeking?" Toad snickered. "Man, what losers!"   
  


"Well, what happened to not using any powers?" Rogue demanded. "Why were you poking around in my mind?"   
  


"I wasn't! You were broadcasting that thought so loudly I'm surprised these guys couldn't pick up on it. I couldn't help but overhear it!"   
  


"I knew you shouldn't have let them out of the house today, Chuck." Logan gestured around the room. "See what happens?"   
  


"Yes. Thank you, Logan."   
  


"Wait a minute," Kitty piped up. "What did Rogue do to you, Scott?"   
  


Rogue and Scott both turned red. "Nevermind," they chorused.   
  


"I don't get it." Kitty frowned. "Does this have anything to do with you talking to yourself in the bathroom mirror at school?"   
  


"No. Forget it."   
  


"But -"   
  


"I said forget it!"   
  


Lance leaned over and whispered to Toad, "You're right. This really is getting good!"   
  


"Hey, while we're all, like, airin complaints an' everything, I got sumthin to say, too," Toad announced.   
  


Xavier rubbed his forehead. "Yes, Todd?"   
  


"See, that's it right there! My name is Todd, but he -" he pointed at Logan "- wrote 'Toad' on that nametag thingie. It's kinda insulting, ya know?"   
  


"You don't like being called Toad?" Lance asked, truly puzzled.   
  


"Not all the time. An' not by him!" He pointed at Logan again.   
  


"That's your big complaint?" Kitty exclaimed incredulously. "Excuse me, but I think my complaints are, like, a little more serious."   
  


That declaration began a war of complaints. Everyone in the group considered their own situation more important than everyone else's. While every voice was raised to be heard over every other voice, Toad gave up on voicing his complaints. There were too many people all yelling at once, and it didn't seem that anyone much cared what he had to say, anyhow. Instead, he decided he could solve his own problem, or at least part of it. Turning around, he grabbed a marker pen off the desk behind him. He flipped the nametag around so he could see it and studiously drew a line up from the "a" in "Toad" to change it to a "d". That done, he smiled at his handiwork, pleased with himself.   
  


The bickering was still going strong when a pair of footsteps pounded up the stairs. A few seconds later, Jean appeared in the doorway. Nobody took much notice of her except Rogue, who walked over and inspected her closely. "How did you get home?"   
  


Jean stared into the study in disbelief. "What? Oh, I got a ride from your friend Risty. There's something a little odd about her, don't you think?"   
  


Rogue shrugged.   
  


Jean indicated the scene in the study. "What's going on in here?"   
  


"It's a long story. By the way, you might want to put your nametag back on. Wolverine's been getting a little fanatical about the nametags."   
  


"I see." Jean slipped the string necklace over her head and perched on the edge of a desk chair.   
  


The professor was attempting to gain control of the situation. He held up his hands and called, "If I could just have everybody's attention, please!"   
  


They continued to ignore him.   
  


He was preparing to send out a telepathic burst when Logan stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let me handle this, Chuck."   
  


With that, Logan straightened up and clenched his fists. His claws sprang out of his hands with a distinct metallic ringing sound. He glanced around the room, smiling to himself when his eyes landed on the object he sought. Three long strides brought him around the desk, where he reached out with one hand to steady the chalkboard. With the other, he reached up and scraped his claws down the length of the chalkboard.   
  


Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing. Hands clapped over ears in hopes of blocking out the horrible squealing noise. Certain he had everybody's attention now, Logan strolled around to the other side of the desk and leaned against it. "Floor's all yours, Charles."   
  


"Thank you." Xavier gingerly touched his ear. "First of all, I'd like to explain to Jean what has happened."   
  


"It's okay, Professor." Jean shook her head. "I think I can guess what happened. I see the nametags. There was another encounter with Amanda Jensen, wasn't there?"   
  


"Yes, there was -"   
  


"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lance interrupted. "How do we fix this?"   
  


"I was getting to that." Xavier frowned. "I will use Cerebro to locate Amanda, then -"   
  


"Then what?" Lance demanded. "Sit down and have a nice little heart-to-heart with her?"   
  


"Yeah, cuz that worked so very well last time," Kurt muttered, trying to wipe slime from his hands.   
  


"Look, the girl I saw didn't seem interested in fixing what she's done. She didn't seem interested in anything but wreaking havoc and running," Lance said. Actually, if he hadn't been on the receiving end of it, he would have said she had the perfect Brotherhood mentality.   
  


The professor sighed. "No, I do not intend to have a heart-to-heart with her. This time, Storm and I will go along. I can telepathically prevent Amanda from using her powers."   
  


"And then you're gonna club her over the head and drag her back here?" Lance asked hopefully.   
  


"In effect, yes, although without the physical violence. Scott, Jean, Kitty, and Rogue, I'd like the four of you to get ready. We'll be leaving as soon as I consult Cerebro."   
  


"Hey, what about us?" Evan indicated himself and Kurt.   
  


"And us?" Lance asked. "What, me and Toad have to stay here at the geek mansion?"   
  


"I believe it would be best for you boys to stay here where you won't get into any more trouble than you already have. And to make certain you stay out of trouble, Wolverine is going to stay here to keep an eye on you."   
  


"I am? Charles, I think you and I need to have a little talk," Logan growled.   
  


"Wolverine is baby-sitting you guys?" Kitty giggled. "Have fun."   
  


Professor Xavier wheeled himself toward the door with no further comment. Ororo followed him, pausing at the door to give Logan an apologetic look. One by one, Kitty, Rogue, Scott, and Jean also left the study. They were halfway down the hall to their rooms when the phone rang.   
  


Scott stopped and picked up the receiver in the hall. After listening for a moment, he put a hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Kitty. "It's your parents."   
  


"Okay." Kitty held out her hand.   
  


"Uh, Kitty? You can't talk to them while you're Evan. Maybe I should tell them to call back later?"   
  


"Like when? What if this is permanent? They can't think anything is wrong right now! No, they want to talk to Kitty, they'll talk to Kitty. I'll have to go get -" she shuddered "- Toad."   
  


She ran back to the study and returned a few seconds later dragging Toad behind her. Grabbing the phone from Scott, she shoved it at Toad and hissed, "You say anything stupid and I swear I'll strangle you."   
  


He ignored her and took the receiver. "Yo, mom an' pops, how's it goin?"   
  


Kitty groaned, already regretting allowing Toad to speak to her parents. Scott shook his head and gave her a rueful smile. "Good luck," he whispered before continuing on down the hall.   
  


On the phone, Toad was nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine . . . School? Okay, I guess. Well, ya know, except for that 'F' I got on my math test last week, but it only counts for half my final grade or sumthin like that, I really wasn't payin attention . . ."   
  


Kitty kicked him.   
  


"Ow!" He leaned down and rubbed his leg. "Huh?" he said into the phone. "Uh, nothing . . . 'F'? Did I say 'F'? . . . Oh. Well, no, I meant, uh, well, I dunno what I meant. Not 'F', anyways . . . Yeah, I'm feelin okay. Why do ya keep askin me that? . . . My friends? Yeah, they're okay. Today me an' Lance trashed the boys' room at school . . ."   
  


"Knock it off, Toad!" Kitty hissed.   
  


Toad grinned and moved out of kicking range, really starting to enjoy himself. "What? . . . Yeah, you heard me right . . . Lance Alvers, yeah . . . Oh, you remember him? Cool . . . Nah, he's awright. Actually, he's more than that. I'm in love with him. In fact, we're gonna elope on Valentine's Day . . ." Toad suddenly winced and pulled the phone away from his ear. He looked at Kitty, whose face had turned a very interesting shade of purple. "Wow, your parents sure can yell loud."   
  


Kitty focused all her energy on holding back the barrage of spikes which threatened to break loose any second now. Through the red haze clouding her mind, a possible save for the situation occurred to her. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted toward the phone, "Kitty! What are you doing on the phone? You shouldn't be out of bed with such a high fever!"   
  


"Huh?"   
  


"Hang up now!" Kitty grated.   
  


"Okay, okay." Toad looked at the phone. "Bye, mom an' pops!"   
  


The instant the receiver was back in its cradle, Kitty grabbed Toad by the back of the neck and steered him down the hall to the study. At the door, she released him and shot evil eyes his way. "I swear, the second you're back in your own slimy little body, I'm totally gonna kill you! Do you hear me? You are so dead!"   
  


Toad watched her stomp toward her room, then he turned to face the study. He shrugged in response to the looks on the others' faces. "Was it sumthin I said?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . .   
  
  
  



	6. Tears And Loathing At The X-Mansion

A/N: The rundown for this chapter is the same as before: SCOTT is in Jean; JEAN is in Rogue; ROGUE is in Scott; KITTY is in Evan; EVAN is in Lance; LANCE is in Kurt; KURT is in Toad; TOAD is in Kitty. However, only Lance, Toad, Kurt, and Evan are in this chapter, so don't worry about the others for the moment, okay? :-)   
  
  
  


*******   
  


Chapter 6: "Tears And Loathing At The X-Mansion"   
  
  
  


"Got any sixes?"   
  


"Go fish. Got any nines?"   
  


"Go fish. Got a life?"   
  


"Go - Hey, wait a minute!" Evan glared at Toad. "That wasn't funny!"   
  


"I thought it was."   
  


"Well I didn't!"   
  


"All right, that's enough." Logan reached over the back of the couch and grabbed Toad by the ear. Playing cards spilled to the floor as he hauled him to his feet and pulled him over to a sofa on the other side of the room. Logan looked at Lance and jerked his thumb toward the sofa. "You too."   
  


"But I'm not doing anything!" Lance protested. "I'm just sitting here, minding my own business!"   
  


"So sit over there and mind your own business."   
  


Lance grumbled but got up and joined Toad on the sofa.   
  


"Yo, this ain't fair," Toad muttered, then raised his voice. "Didja ever stop to think that maybe it's this segregation of the Brotherhood an' the X-geeks that keeps us from understandin each other?"   
  


Logan rolled his eyes. "Can it, Tolensky."   
  


"What is it with these guys?" Toad complained. "They won't listen to us, even when we have a legitimate point!"   
  


"Maybe that's because you've never had a legitimate point before, Toad," Evan called.   
  


"Yeah? Why don'tcha come over here an' say that?"   
  


"Nobody's going over anywhere," Logan growled. He pointed at Evan and Kurt. "You two stay right there, and you two -" he indicated Lance and Toad "- stay over there, and I don't want to hear another peep out of any of you!"   
  


The boys were quiet for about ten seconds, just long enough for Logan to relax. Then,   
  


"Peep," Toad peeped. "Peep! Peep!"   
  


"Peep!" Lance joined in.   
  


"Oh, that's mature." Kurt rolled his eyes.   
  


"You're one to talk," Lance shot back.   
  


"Shut up, all of you!" Logan shouted. There was a loud metallic ching as his claws sprang out.   
  


"Okay, okay. Calm down." Lance slid down on the couch and wiggled around, trying to find a comfortable position for the tail.   
  


"Stop that squirming!" Logan snapped. "Sit still!"   
  


Lance froze in place. Logan continued to glare at him for a moment, then started back to his chair. As soon as his back was turned, Lance smiled wickedly and grabbed a pillow off the couch. He took aim and fired the pillow at Logan. It smacked into the back of his head with a soft thump.   
  


He spun around. "All right, which one of you did that?"   
  


Both boys whistled innocently.   
  


He turned to glare at Kurt and Evan. "Which one of them did that?"   
  


"You're asking us?" Kurt asked.   
  


Logan sighed. "Nevermind." He chose a chair and sat in a position where he could keep an eye on all four boys. Checking the clock, he sighed again. It had only been half an hour since Xavier and Ororo left with the other kids. He didn't expect them to return for at least another hour. Which meant he was stuck here until they did, with at least two of the teenagers trying to drive him insane. He was beginning to think it was about time for him to split the mansion for a while and take off on a little road-trip.   
  


The four boys remained silent for all of sixty seconds. During that time, Lance's attention was occupied with staring at Toad. When Toad noticed the look he was giving him, he scooted away and plopped a pillow down between them. "What're you starin at, yo? Those ain't my eyes!"   
  


Lance felt heat rush to his cheeks. "That's not what I was looking at!" he hissed. "Keep your voice down!"   
  


"That is so what you were lookin at!" Toad picked up the pillow and hugged it to his chest. "Pervert."   
  


"Well, what do you care? It's not like they're yours."   
  


"I feel so used, yo." Toad stopped and considered Lance's words. A smile spread over his face. "Hey, you're right. They're not mine." He let the pillow drop and pulled the neck of Kitty's shirt out, trying to see down it.   
  


Across the room, Kurt noticed what was going on. He jumped up and shouted, "Hey, what do you think you're doing?!"   
  


Toad immediately let go of the shirt collar. "Nuthin."   
  


"Well knock it off!"   
  


Logan also jumped to his feet. Pointing at Kurt, he said, "You sit down." He turned and glared at Toad. "And if I catch you doing anything like that again, I'll tie your hands behind your back."   
  


"And I'm telling Kitty what you were doing," Kurt said.   
  


"So? She's already threatened to kill me. What else can she do, yo?"   
  


"You don't know Kitty." Oh, well, Kurt thought. At least Kitty seemed to have forgotten her anger toward him. It had all been transferred to Toad, especially after the incident with her parents. Before she'd left the mansion, she'd stopped in the study doorway long enough to shoot a murderous glare at Toad. Kurt was glad somebody other than himself had managed to incur Kitty's wrath.   
  


All in all, it was not a going to be a good day for Toad.   
  


While Kurt and Evan sat on their couch and kept their eyes suspiciously trained across the room, Toad scooted a little closer to Lance. "Hey, Lance," he whispered.   
  


"What?"   
  


"Well, I was thinkin. I can walk through walls now, and you could be somewhere else just by thinkin about it, right?"   
  


"So?"   
  


"So what're we still doin here, yo? Let's ditch this place! It ain't like they could stop us from leavin!"   
  


Lance rolled his eyes. "Did you just now figure that out?"   
  


"Yeah, well, it ain't too easy to think with all of them starin at me like that. 'Specially him." Toad cast a wary glance at Logan, then quickly looked away. "So if you're so smart an' figured it out before me an' everything, why're we still here? What, you wanna be an X-geek again?"   
  


"Shut up." He cast his own glance over to Logan, who stared back evenly. He made sure to keep his voice pitched low. "I told you already, we're not leaving! I'm not gonna be stuck as Blue-Boy for the rest of my life, got it?"   
  


"O-ka-ay!" Toad's voice broke on the last syllable, and he sniffled.   
  


"What's wrong?"   
  


"You're . . . you're just so mean sometimes!" Toad sniffled again.   
  


"Are you crying?!" Lance exclaimed incredulously.   
  


"No." Toad swiped at his eyes. The back of his hand came away glistening with tears.   
  


Logan stood up. "What's going on over there?"   
  


"From here, it looks like Lance made Toad cry," Evan informed him.   
  


"My name is Todd!" Toad wailed. "You're all just so mean to me!"   
  


"What did you say to him?" Logan demanded of Lance.   
  


"Nothing!" Lance shrugged helplessly. "I mean, I wasn't talking to him any different than normal."   
  


"That's the problem, yo!" Toad sniffled. "You're always so mean to me! You're so insensitive!"   
  


Nobody knew quite how to react. Kurt and Evan were at once horrified and amused. Lance appeared mainly confused. Logan was obviously extremely uncomfortable. He finally picked up a box of Kleenex and walked over to the couch. He held the box out to Toad. "Here."   
  


Toad grabbed a handful of tissue and began wiping his face. He blew his nose a couple times, then wadded up the tissues and handed them back to Logan. He offered a watery smile. "Thanks, yo."   
  


"No problem," Logan said wryly. He tossed the tissues in the wastebasket and stared at his hand in disgust. Shaking his head, he tried to wipe his hand on his pants. "Now you wanna tell me what that was all about?"   
  


"I dunno." Toad's lower lip trembled. "I just felt like cryin."   
  


Lance snorted. "Since when? I've never seen you cry before."   
  


"Well, I've never been a girl before, you insensitive pig! Now I know why Kitty doesn't wanna go out with you!"   
  


Evan suddenly laughed. "Hey, guys, I think Toad's having PMS!"   
  


"I am not! A girl can be emotional without it being that time of the month, yo!"   
  


"Uh, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you're not really a girl, Toad," Kurt said.   
  


"I am today. An' it's Todd."   
  


Lance rolled his eyes. "Man, I can't wait for you to get back in your own body," he muttered.   
  


"Well neither can I, you rock-tumbling jerk!" Toad burst into fresh tears.   
  


"Oh, brother." Logan checked the clock again. The others still wouldn't be back for quite some time. "Thanks a lot, Chuck," he muttered to himself.   
  


"This is too weird." Lance shifted uncomfortably. "C'mon, stop crying, Toad. You're creeping me out."   
  


"I'm sorry I creep you out, okay? I know I'm creepy an' slimy an' I eat flies an' no one likes me, an' . . . an' . . ." His words dissolved into sobs. "I can't help it!"   
  


"Hey, I didn't mean it like that!" Lance looked desperately around the room. "A little help here? Anyone?"   
  


Kurt stood and walked over to their couch. "Yeah, c'mon, we like you, To - Todd. Right?" He looked over his shoulder at Evan.   
  


"Uh, yeah, sure. I guess so."   
  


Toad wiped his eyes. "You're just sayin that. You don't mean it."   
  


"No, I mean it," Kurt insisted. "I'm really sorry about everything I said earlier. I was wrong. It's not so bad being you."   
  


"Really?" Toad sniffled loudly.   
  


"I don't believe it," Lance groaned. "This is ridiculous!"   
  


"My feelings are not ridiculous!"   
  


"That's not what I said! What's wrong with you, anyway?"   
  


"Maybe you should apologize," Kurt suggested.   
  


"What? I'm not gonna apologize! I didn't do anything to him!" Lance exclaimed.   
  


Logan walked around the couch and clamped a hand down on Lance's shoulder. Leaning down, he squeezed his shoulder and growled into his ear, "If it'll get him to stop blubbering, just apologize already, Alvers."   
  


"Oh, fine." Lance turned to Toad and sighed. "Hey, I'm sorry, okay? C'mon, will you please quit crying?"   
  


Toad hiccuped and glared at him with wounded eyes. "You're not sorry. You're just sayin you are cuz Wolverine threatened you."   
  


"No, I'm not. I really mean it." Lance reached out and awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sorry I made you cry, Todd. There. Okay?"   
  


Toad wiped his eyes on the sleeve of Kitty's shirt and smiled shakily. "Okay. Hey, how 'bout a hug, yo?"   
  


"Huh?!"   
  


Toad's lower lip began trembling again. Tears welled in his eyes. "Look, I just really need a hug right now, okay? Is that so bad?"   
  


"Oh, you can't be seri -" Lance's word were cut off as Toad threw his arms around him and squeezed Lance tight.   
  


Shaking his head, Logan walked over to his chair and sat down. He glanced at the clock yet again and pretended not to notice Lance's cries for help as Toad hugged the breath out of him.   
  


It was going to be a long wait.   
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . .   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Hide and Seek

A/N: Okay, I just want to thank everyone for all the nice reviews, and also I thought I'd mention that no, Toddy is NOT having PMS! LOL! It's just, you know, normal girly hormones he's not used to dealing with! ;-) Anyway, here's the rundown for chapter . . . what chapter is this? Oh, yeah, seven. I'll just give you the people who show up in this chapter. Everything is still status quo. For the moment. *evil laugh* Whoa, where did *that* come from?! Okay, well, here we go. SCOTT is still in Jean; JEAN is still in Rogue; ROGUE is still in Scott; and KITTY is still in Evan. Okay, have fun!   
  


*******   
  


Chapter 7: "Hide And Seek"   
  


"There she is!" Scott pointed out the window.   
  


"No, that's not her," Jean said.   
  


"Really? It sure looks like her." Scott squinted at the girl in question. "I can't really tell. Maybe you need glasses."   
  


"My eyes are fine. You're just used to looking at everything through a red tint."   
  


"Are you sure? Things seem kind of blurry."   
  


"Uh, guys?" Kitty asked from the backseat.   
  


"I'm sure, Scott. I had an eye exam last month. Twenty-twenty vision."   
  


"Guys?"   
  


"Are you sure the doctor knew what he was doing? Things really do look a little fuzzy to me."   
  


"Guys!"   
  


"What?" Scott and Jean turned to the backseat.   
  


"Pull over," Kitty instructed.   
  


"Why?"   
  


"Just do it and I'll show you!"   
  


Scott hit the brakes and pulled his car into the city park they were about to pass by. A few car-lengths behind them, the X-van did the same. Shielding his eyes from the setting sun, Scott turned to face Kitty and Rogue in the backseat. "We didn't stop so that you could play on the swings, did we?"   
  


Kitty made a face. "No. Amanda's been here."   
  


"How can you tell?"   
  


Rogue pointed up. "When was the last time you saw a chipmunk chase a cat up a tree?"   
  


They got out of the car and watched as the fluffy calico tried to scamper into a hole in the tree trunk. Realizing the hole was too small, the cat backed up on the branch as the chipmunk advanced. The little rodent emitted a high-pitched growling noise that seemed completely foreign to chipmunk vocal cords. Similarly, the feline was letting out very un-catlike squeaks of terror. She cowered on the tree limb as the chipmunk stalked up and began batting her in the face.   
  


"There's something you don't get to see every day," Scott commented.   
  


Storm and Xavier came up behind the kids. "Why did you stop here? Did you find her?" Storm asked.   
  


"No, but she's been here." Jean pointed up the tree.   
  


"This girl must have a really strange sense of humor," Rogue said, watching the cat try to back away from the chipmunk.   
  


Professor Xavier wheeled himself forward and thoughtfully stared up the tree. "No, Rogue, I don't think she's doing it all on purpose. I simply don't believe she has much control over her ability."   
  


"No kidding." Kitty started to roll her eyes, then stopped suddenly. "Oh, no! If she can't control it, like, how can she switch us back? If she can't change us back, I'll totally pound her!"   
  


Jean frowned. "Is it just my imagination, or are you feeling a bit more violent than usual, Kitty?"   
  


"I've been expecting something like this," the professor said. "Kitty is dealing with much higher testosterone levels than she ever has before. It's not surprising that she's feeling a bit more aggressive than usual. In fact, the same thing could happen to Rogue."   
  


"Wonderful." Scott glanced at Rogue. "Just don't blast anyone, okay?"   
  


"I'll try to control myself."   
  


"All right, so Amanda was here. Where is she now?" Scott asked.   
  


The professor concentrated for a moment, then turned his wheelchair toward the van. "She's not far. This time, Storm and I will take the lead."   
  


Everyone piled back into their respective vehicles. Scott followed the X-van out of the parking lot and continued down the street. They drove in silence for half a mile before Kitty leaned into the front seat and timidly asked, "Guys? What if we can't find her?"   
  


Jean reached around and patted her hand. "Don't worry, Kitty. Professor Xavier will find her. You heard what he said. We're close."   
  


"Yeah. Besides, finding Amanda isn't really the problem. Grabbing her without getting all switched around is what we seem to be having trouble with," Rogue added.   
  


"Maybe the grabbing part is why," Jean said. "Perhaps we should be trying to reason with her instead of chasing and grabbing her."   
  


"Well, you heard what Kurt and Evan said. They were trying to talk to her calmly and rationally, and she was hostile with them from the very beginning," Scott pointed out.   
  


Rogue snorted. "Right. Calmly and rationally, with Lance and Toad standing right behind them. I'm sure."   
  


"Look, when we find her, forget talking! I just wanna, like, lay her out and drag her back to the Institute, because I want back in my own body and I definitely want that creepy little slime-ball out of my body!"   
  


Scott frowned. "Calm down, Kitty. Nobody is happy about this situation, and I guarantee nobody wants it to go on much longer."   
  


"Really. Toad didn't seem to mind too much," Kitty grumbled.   
  


"Yeah, well, he's Toad. Pretty much anybody would be an improvement over that," Scott replied.   
  


"Gee, thanks."   
  


Before anyone could respond, the X-van suddenly slowed and swerved into another parking lot. Scott slammed on the brakes and twisted the wheel to the right, pulling into the lot a split second behind the van. The two vehicles circled around the lot until they found two vacant parking spaces next to each other. Scott turned the engine off and stared up at the building in front of which they'd stopped. As he watched through the gathering twilight, the pink and blue lights of the marquee came on.   
  


"Oh, don't tell me," Kitty said. "Storm and Professor Xavier got sick of searching and decided to go to the movies instead."   
  


"Somehow I doubt it." Scott stepped out of the car and leaned against the hood.   
  


The doors of the van opened and the professor and Storm exited. Xavier paused and looked around the parking lot. A few small groups of people were walking toward the theater. He waited for a teenage couple to pass by, then wheeled himself over to Scott's car. Pointing to the theater, he said, "Amanda is in there."   
  


Kitty jumped out of the car. "So what are we waiting for?"   
  


"No, Kitty." Xavier held up a hand. "We must wait until she comes out."   
  


"Why?" Kitty demanded.   
  


Storm placed a hand on her shoulder. "We can't rush into a crowded theater and drag her out. That would be dangerous and irresponsible. Imagine what would happen if she let her power loose in a theater full of people, Kitty. Do you still want to run in there and try to force her out?"   
  


Kitty scuffed her feet along the concrete and shrugged. "I guess not," she muttered.   
  


"Excuse me." Rogue raised her hand. "You're not suggesting we sit out here and wait for the movie to let out, are you? Because that could take a while."   
  


"No, that's not what I'm suggesting, Rogue." Xavier rubbed his forehead and turned to look up at the theater. "I can send Amanda a telepathic suggestion to leave the theater, and we will approach her then."   
  


"And then Rogue will drop her and we'll take her back to the Institute, right?" Kitty asked hopefully.   
  


Jean stripped off her gloves. "Well, it won't be Rogue, but the principle is the same. That way, Amanda won't have the opportunity to switch us again."   
  


"Yes. Very good, Jean." The professor closed his eyes. He opened them after a moment and began rolling toward the building. "She's in the auditorium at the very back. That's good in a way. From there, nobody will notice us."   
  


"Nobody will notice us knocking her out and abducting her. That's always a plus," Rogue commented.   
  


The professor smiled slightly. "Scott, bring the van around to the back of the theater."   
  


"Sure thing, Professor."   
  


The three girls and Storm hurried to keep up with the professor's motorized trek across the parking lot. They circled around the building and stopped while Xavier surveyed the exit doors. After a moment of consideration, he pointed to the third door down from them. "She's in that auditorium."   
  


"Here comes Scott." Storm nodded toward the side parking lot, where the X-van had just claimed an empty space. The headlights darkened and Scott hopped out. The others arrived at the theater door a moment before him, and stopped to wait.   
  


"Hey," Scott called, running up to them. When he reached their position, he stopped and leaned against the building. He jerked his thumb toward the door. "Is this the one she's in?"   
  


The professor nodded. "Yes. You all know what to do, correct?"   
  


"Sure. As soon as she comes out, Rogue lays her out and we load her into the X-van and take her back to the Institute where she'll straighten this mess out," Kitty replied.   
  


Xavier sighed. "I suppose that's close enough."   
  


"Except it'll be Jean, not me, doing the honors," Rogue reminded Kitty.   
  


"Okay, whatever."   
  


The kids fell silent while Xavier closed his eyes and focused on contacting Amanda telepathically. His brow furrowed slightly, then relaxed. "She's on her way out. Jean, be prepared."   
  


Jean took a stance to the side of the door. The others spread out behind her, with Storm and Xavier falling back to give the kids enough space to work on their own.   
  


Just then, they heard voices and footsteps coming from around the corner of the building. The owners of the voices and footsteps turned the corner and continued their conversation, having not yet spotted the X-Men.   
  


"But which door is it?"   
  


"It'll be the one that's propped open, Fred. You couldn't figure that out on your own?"   
  


"Yeah, but it's dark back here. I can't see which one is open. Hey, why'd we have Tabby prop it open, anyway? You could've done it, and you wouldn't even have needed a ticket to get in." Fred stopped in his tracks and nudged his companion, just spotting the X-Men. "Hey, what're they doing here?"   
  


Pietro glared through the thickening dusk. "They're ruining our recreational activities, as usual."   
  


Rogue sighed. "Look, Pietro, I know you may find this hard to believe, but our being here really has nothing to do with you. Just move on, sneak into your movie, whatever."   
  


"Whatta ya mean it has nothing to do with us? Why not?"   
  


"Professor!" Kitty exclaimed in panic. "Make them go away!"   
  


Pietro zeroed in on her with predatory swiftness. "Ooh, what's the matter, Daniels? Not man enough to fight your own battles? I knew it! You always were a wimp!"   
  


Kitty stomped her foot and said in a rush, "Okay, you're right, I'm definitely not man enough to fight you right now, now why don't you go away and we'll settle this tomorrow?"   
  


"Ha!"   
  


Fred scratched his head. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?"   
  


Before anyone could think of a response, the theater door flew open and Amanda stepped onto the sidewalk, nearly colliding with Pietro. He grinned and slid an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, I haven't seen you around here before. Play your cards right and you could become my newest love interest. Well, for a while, anyway."   
  


"Excuse me?" Amanda raised an eyebrow and lifted his arm off her shoulder.   
  


Kitty hopped up and down and frantically pointed. "Rogue - Jean - whoever! Get her, quick!"   
  


"What's going on here?" Fred asked as Jean moved toward Amanda.   
  


Amanda began backing up. "Oh, no, not you guys again. You just don't give up, do you?"   
  


"Not after what you did to us!" Kitty exclaimed.   
  


"What'd you do to them?" Pietro asked. His eyes lit up. "Was it really good? Did you really get them? I think I love you! Wanna hang out with us?"   
  


"Get lost, Maximoff," Scott growled. "This has nothing to do with you!"   
  


"It does now!"   
  


Amanda was still backing up, apparently unimpressed by Pietro's charm. She was barely visible behind Fred as Jean continued to advance. Pietro zipped over to block Jean and was intercepted by Scott and Rogue, who had anticipated his move. "Why on Earth are you trying to help her?" Scott demanded.   
  


"She's trying to get away from you. That's reason enough for me."   
  


As Jean passed him, Fred tried to grab her. She ducked under his arm and tackled Amanda. As they hit the concrete, she took Amanda's hand. A small flash of light illuminated the immediate area as Jean began absorbing her life-force. Amanda struggled for a moment, then went limp.   
  


"Jean, let go of her now, before you kill her!" Rogue shouted.   
  


"Jean?!" Pietro exclaimed. "What the - hey, are you wearing nametags? Why're you losers wearing nametags?"   
  


Xavier rubbed his head and looked at Storm. "It seems I have a couple of memories to alter."   
  


Jean sat up and pulled her gloves on again. As she climbed to her feet, Amanda suddenly raised up and grabbed her. Jean fell back to the ground. An iridescent bubble grew around Amanda. When it was appropriately big, she sent it flying at the group. That done, she collapsed back on the concrete, unconscious.   
  


The bubble spread around the group of teenagers, knocking them all to the ground. The weird blurring sensation overcame them as the bubble dissipated and fizzled out of existence completely.   
  


"Oh, no," Rogue moaned when she came to her senses. She kept her eyes closed, not quite brave enough to find out who she now was.   
  


"Hey, what's going on here? What just happened? What - ack!" Scott's voice shrieked. "There're two of me! Oh, my - Hey, there are two of me! Cool! Wait, why is everything red? Is that some trick of the light or something? It is, right?"   
  


"Oh, shut up," Rogue heard her own voice moan.   
  


"Ew, ew, ew!" Fred's voice screamed. "I'm the Blob?! Ew, this is, like, totally icksome! Gross!"   
  


Pandemonium.   
  


Rogue finally opened her eyes and looked down at herself. She couldn't tell much of anything except that she was still one of the boys. Turning to the person closest to her, she tapped him on the shoulder. "If it's not too much trouble, would you mind telling me who I am now?"   
  


Whoever was in Scott's body stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Whatta you mean, who you are? You're me; who do think you are?"   
  


Without a word, Rogue lifted the nametag from around his neck and slipped it over the head of her new host body.   
  


"Rogue? You mean there aren't two of me? You're not me? Wait, does that mean I'm not me, either? Who am I? What did you do to me, huh?"   
  


She shook her head and glanced around wearily. It was as if she were watching a replay of the night before, only with a slightly different cast of characters. As she watched, Fred jumped up and whipped around, frantically trying to locate Xavier. "Professor! Please tell me you're still you! You and Storm didn't get switched too, did you?"   
  


"No, we didn't," the professor paused to perform a quick telepathic scan, "Kitty. The displacement bubble seems to have missed Storm and myself."   
  


By process of elimination, Rogue figured she must be in Pietro. She sighed, wondering if they would ever get this mess straightened out.   
  


Professor Xavier wheeled himself closer. He held his hands up. "I understand this is a very stressful situation, but I would like everyone to remain calm. For those of you who have nametags, now would be the time to take rightful ownership of them."   
  


Since Rogue had already taken "rightful ownership" of her nametag, she sat back and watched everyone else. Kitty, who she already knew was in Fred's body, took possession of her nametag, then sat down, shuddering. The person now in Evan's body carefully stepped over the unconscious Amanda and claimed Jean's nametag. Finally, whoever was now in Rogue's own body stood up and took the nametag off of Jean's body.   
  


Scott.   
  


Rogue cringed. For reasons she would never dare put into words, Scott was about the last person she wanted to be her. She frantically tried to remember when she'd last shaved her legs.   
  


"Excuse me. Excuse me!" The person in Scott's body jumped up and waved his hand in the air. "We don't have nametags! Me and Fred, I mean. Wherever he is. And would somebody explain what just happened here? Cuz if you're trying to turn this into 'torture Quicksilver by turning him into an X-geek' day, you've done a wonderful job. Really. But the thing is, I don't want to be anybody but myself -"   
  


"Mr. Maximoff," the professor tried to break in.   
  


"- I mean, why would I want to be anyone else? I love myself! I love being me! I'm just about perfect, no, scratch that, I am perfect! And listen, I don't want to -"   
  


"Pietro?"   
  


"- walk a mile in anyone else's shoes, either. That's a ridiculous touchy-feely notion that I don't buy into. I don't really care about understanding -"   
  


"Pietro!"   
  


"- anyone else. Why should I? I'm the only person I really need to understand, and I already do that quite well, thank you very much, so -"   
  


"Yo, Maximoff!" Scott shouted.   
  


"- I don't think I'll be taking any lessons on working well with others, and I don't need to get in touch with my inner child or anything like that, and I'm certainly not about to break down and let myself get brainwashed by you losers, even though you managed to do it to Lance, just for a little while, though, and even though you did -"   
  


"I give up." Scott threw his hands in the air.   
  


"- turn me into Cyclops, I'm not getting brainwashed into joining you! I would rather be me! I'm being the best me I can be, even though you -" he stopped mid-sentence and looked at Scott. "Did you just say you give up? Okay, you made a smart move there; the first in your life, I'm sure. Hey, which one of you is Fred now, anyway?"   
  


"I am." Jean's hand raised.   
  


"Oh." Pietro thought about that for a couple of seconds, then shrugged. "Well, you look much better now than you usually do, at any rate. So what's going on here? What just happened?"   
  


Professor Xavier looked at him evenly. "What has happened here will take some time to explain. Time which it is ill-advised to spend here. If you will come back to the Institute with us, I can reverse this situation."   
  


"Yeah, sure. I know how this goes. We follow you back to the Institute and you brainwash us into being two more of your little goody-good X drones! No thanks!" Pietro said.   
  


"Nobody's going to do any brainwashing," Rogue said. "That's stupid. We really don't want you that bad, anyway. Besides, Lance and Toad are at the Institute. They had a little run-in with Amanda earlier, too. So, unless the Brotherhood wants to spend the rest of its life as the X-Men, you should come with us."   
  


Pietro considered her words, trying to determine if she was lying about Lance and Toad. He couldn't remember when he'd last seen them, but he thought it might be true. He nodded. "Okay. You switch us back, then you let us outta there, no strings attached. Deal, Xavier?"   
  


The professor nodded. "Of course."   
  


Pietro pointed at Rogue. "And you better not do any damage to the temple that is my body!"   
  


Rogue ignored him and helped Jean pick up Amanda. With the unconscious girl supported between them, they led the way toward the parking lot. A few feet away from the X-van, Rogue peered over Amanda's head at Jean. "You know what this means, don't you?"   
  


"What?"   
  


"Wolverine gets to make two more nametags."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . .   
  



	8. Dislocations

A/N: Hey, everyone's in this chapter! Here you go with the rundown: LANCE is in Kurt; KURT is in Toad; TOAD is in Kitty; EVAN is in Lance. Now for the ones that have changed: SCOTT is in Rogue; ROGUE is in Pietro; PIETRO is in Scott; KITTY is in Fred; FRED is in Jean; and JEAN is in Evan. Whew. Have fun!   
  
  
  


*** 

Chapter 8: "Dislocations"   
  
  
  


The X-mansion was quiet. Too quiet. Logan paused in the hallway, listening. Nothing. No arguing, no sniping; not a single sound came from behind the study door. Afraid that maybe the boys had finally killed each other, he ran to the door and flung it open.   
  


The room was empty.   
  


He sighed. "Can't a guy even go to the bathroom without those kids disappearing?" he muttered.   
  


As Logan turned away from the study, preparing to hunt for the boys, Kurt and Evan walked up the stairs, each carrying a bowl of chocolate ice cream. Logan looked past them and frowned. "Where are the other two?"   
  


"They took their ice cream and came back upstairs." A worried look entered Kurt's eyes. "Didn't they?"   
  


"Let me get this straight. You turned those two loose in the house with chocolate ice cream?" Logan shook his head. "We better find them."   
  


"But what about . . . ?" Evan held up his bowl.   
  


"Put it in the study!"   
  


"But it'll melt!"   
  


The ground started to quake. Logan glared and pointed a finger at Evan. "Knock it off with the earthquake stuff, Porcupine."   
  


"I don't know how!"   
  


"Uh-oh," Kurt said. "Calm down. Maybe if you think of, um, un-shaky things?"   
  


"Like what?"   
  


Logan sighed. "Think of a tranquil pond. Water as calm and smooth as glass. No ripples, no sailboats, no tidal waves caused by earthquakes. Calm. Peaceful. Serene."   
  


The quaking subsided. Evan grinned. "Hey, all right!" He ran off to set his bowl in the study.   
  


Kurt raised an eyebrow at Logan. "A tranquil pond?"   
  


"I don't want to talk about it."   
  
  
  
  
  


Down the hall, in Kitty and Rogue's room, Toad looked up from the book he was reading. "Hey, it stopped, yo."   
  


Lance looked toward the door and waited for a few seconds, then turned back to Toad. "Yeah, I guess Daniels got it under control. Goody for him. I was afraid I was gonna have to go out there." He sat on Kitty's bed and leaned over Toad's shoulder. "C'mon, is there anything in there about me?"   
  


Toad shrugged him off and slammed Kitty's diary shut. "Get off my back! I'm looking, okay? When I find sumthin, I'll let ya know!"   
  


"Well maybe you're not looking in the right places! What date are you on?"   
  


"Um, hold on." Toad opened the diary and began flipping pages. A few seconds later, he stopped to read something. "Hey, this is from when you were livin here. Ooh, Kitty kissed you?!"   
  


"Shut up."   
  


Toad made kissy-faces at him. "Lance an' Kitty, sittin in a tree -"   
  


"I said shut up!" Lance reached for the diary. "Give me that."   
  


"No!" Toad held it away from him and flipped a few more pages. "Hey, did you know Rogue's got a crush on Summers?"   
  


"I don't care -" Lance stopped. "Really? On Summers?" He snorted. "Why?"   
  


"I dunno, but Kitty thinks Rogue oughtta tell him."   
  


"Great." Lance rolled his eyes. "Is there anything else about me?"   
  


"Um . . ." Toad flipped forward to the most recent pages. "Ooh, yeah, here's sumthin!"   
  


"What? Let me see!"   
  


Toad jumped up and ran across the room. He stepped up onto Rogue's bed and bounced up and down, holding Kitty's diary open in front of him. "Dear Diary, Lance is such a loser. He has bad breath an' he kisses like a slug -"   
  


"It does not say that!" Lance fired one of Kitty's pillows at him.   
  


"Hey!" Toad dropped the diary and caught the pillow. He threw it back at Lance, who ducked out of the way. The pillow hit Toad's bowl of ice cream, sending the spoon flying up in the air to paint chocolate streaks across the wall. The bowl fell over, dribbling the melted remains of the ice cream over Kitty's bedspread.   
  


Toad stopped bouncing. "Ya know, come to think of it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to set that there, yo."   
  


"Oh, you think?" Lance frantically tried to wipe up the chocolate. "Go get me a napkin or something."   
  


"Man, you are pathetic!" Toad snorted and returned to Kitty's diary. "Hey, here's some stuff about you."   
  


"Yeah, right."   
  


"No, really! It's about you an' the Sadie Hawkins dance. Course, there's a buncha stuff about those monsters crashin the party, but -" he was cut off as Lance ran over and ripped the diary out of his hands. "Whoa. Help yourself, yo."   
  


"Thanks." Lance skimmed the page. "Hey, she thought I looked cute in my suit! And she thinks I'm a good dancer!"   
  


"Ooh, be still my racin heart!" Toad made retching noises. "Gimme a break."   
  


"Oh, what do you know about it?" Lance turned the page and continued to read. "You don't know anything about girls."   
  


"You're right, yo. I mean, readin her diary, now there's the way to win her over. Why didn't I think of it?" Toad jumped off the bed and tried to peek at the diary. "Is there anything in there about me?"   
  


"Why would there be?"   
  


Both boys jumped as the bedroom door flew open. Logan, Kurt, and Evan stood in the doorway. Logan crossed his arms. "What do you two think you're doing in here?"   
  


"Uh . . ." Lance hid the diary behind his back. "Nothing."   
  


"What was that?" Kurt asked.   
  


"Nothing," Lance repeated.   
  


Kurt ran into the room and pulled Lance's arms out in front of him. The diary fell to the floor. Kurt gaped at it. "You're reading Kitty's diary?"   
  


"Uh, well . . ."   
  


"Yeah. You wanna know what she wrote about you?" Toad asked.   
  


Logan stalked into the room and grabbed Lance and Toad by the ears. "Come on. Back to the study with the two of you. And the next time I tell you to stay put, you stay put! Understand?"   
  


"Ow, yo! Like we got a choice?"   
  


Logan ignored their protests and dragged them back to the study, with Kurt and Evan trailing along behind them. When they reached the study, Logan tossed the boys into the room and let Kurt and Evan go in ahead of him. Once all four boys were in the study, he stepped in and slammed the door shut. He then leaned against it and crossed his arms over his chest. "Anyone who wants to leave this room is gonna have to go through me."   
  


Toad started walking toward him. "Hey, I'd be willin to try that!"   
  


"I didn't mean literally go through me! Sit down!"   
  


Toad plopped down on the floor at Logan's feet. Logan glared at him. "What?" Toad snickered. "I'm doin what you told me to."   
  


Logan sighed. As if dealing with Toad on a normal day wasn't bad enough, now, thanks to the ice cream, it looked like he was about to experience Toad on a major sugar rush. Wonderful. He checked the clock for maybe the twentieth time that hour. What could be taking the professor so long?   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


The X-van roared through the streets of Bayville. It paused at a stop sign, then rolled through the intersection. Fifty yards ahead was a billboard, illuminated by spotlights at its base. The billboard stood like a beacon in the night, advertising phone numbers for a mental health clinic. Suddenly the rear passenger-side window of the van slid down and a red laser-bolt of energy shot out, blasting a smoking hole through the billboard.   
  


"Yes! Ha-ha! I've always hated that thing!" Pietro crowed..   
  


"Stop that!" Scott exclaimed. "Keep the visor on! You can't just go around blasting holes in everything."   
  


"Sure I can. I just did."   
  


Professor Xavier sighed. After much discussion in the parking lot, it had been decided that Storm would take Jean and Rogue in Scott's car, while everyone else rode with him. That's how the van had ended up filled to capacity, with Fred up front beside him, Pietro and Scott in the backseat with Amanda propped up between them, and Kitty all by herself in the very back. The seating arrangements had seemed logical when they'd first been worked out, but now Xavier was beginning to doubt the wisdom of putting both Brotherhood members in the same vehicle. Especially when Fred leaned forward and reached for a button on the dashboard.   
  


"Hey, what does this button do?"   
  


"Don't touch that!" Xavier brushed Fred's hand away from the dashboard and continued in a calmer tone of voice. "Please try not to touch anything. The X-van is outfitted with some rather sensitive equipment."   
  


"Yeah, Blob, he doesn't want you to launch any missiles or anything. By the way, is that the missile-launch button?" Pietro leaned over the seat and pointed.   
  


The professor turned halfway, trying to address Pietro while keeping his eyes on the road. "Mr. Maximoff, sit down and put on your seatbelt."   
  


"And don't touch anything," Scott added, glaring at him.   
  


"Don't touch anything," Pietro mimicked, but sat back in his seat. He displayed his hands and raised up to slide them under his thighs, noting with irritation how slowly everything moved in this body. Though his movements may have been slower than normal, his speech was not. "See? I'm sitting on my hands. Now I can't touch anything. Happy?"   
  


Nobody answered. In the very back, Kitty called, "Are we almost back to the Institute yet?"   
  


"Thankfully, yes," Xavier replied.   
  


"Good. I don't know how much longer I can stand being the Blob."   
  


Fred frowned. "Hey, what's wrong with being me?"   
  


Kitty sighed. "Look, I'm not used to taking up the entire back of the van, okay?"   
  


"Well, what's wrong with that?"   
  


"Oh, nevermind!"   
  


"How is Amanda doing, Scott?" Xavier asked.   
  


Scott glanced to his right. After careful consideration, he'd been placed next to Amanda in case she started to wake up while they were en route to the Institute. As the professor had pointed out, it was imperative they do no more switching while the van was in motion. For that reason, Scott had remained ready to act should Amanda show any signs of waking up. So far, she hadn't. "She's still out, Professor. But I'll be ready for her if she comes to."   
  


"Well, be careful," Kitty said. "If you hang on to her for too long, you could put her in a coma or something. Then we'll never get changed back!"   
  


"If it comes to that, I'll barely tap her. Relax."   
  


"Oh, yeah." Kitty rolled her eyes. "Cuz that worked so well when Jean did it."   
  


Pietro, who had been listening to the exchange with some interest, pointed at Scott. "But you're Rogue. Even if you knock her out for good, couldn't you just change us back? You could, right? I mean, that's one of the perks of having that whole touch of death thing, isn't it? Stealing other mutants' powers?"   
  


"No, Pietro. That would be too dangerous. At this point, Scott would have less control over this ability than Amanda does," Xavier said.   
  


"Man, you guys are boring. No sense of adventure. I say just throw everyone in the same room and start sending out those body-switching bubble things, and everyone's bound to get changed back the right way eventually. That's how I would do it!" Pietro informed them.   
  


"And that's why you're not in charge here," Scott said.   
  


Pietro was about to fire off a cocky comeback when something next to the van caught his eye. In the lane next to them, Storm was passing them in Scott's car. Beside her sat Jean, and behind them, Rogue was stretched out in the rumble seat. Pietro groaned. "Aw, man, is it just me, or does that look seriously wrong?"   
  


Scott glanced out the window. It was true; to someone who didn't know any better, it appeared as if Evan and Pietro were riding around quite companionably in the same car.   
  


"Hey!" Pietro leaned out the window. "Hey, Rogue, get down! Don't let anyone see me in the same car with Daniels!" He pulled back into the van and shook his head. "What a nightmare! I hope they don't pass anyone I know. This could ruin my reputation!"   
  


"Your reputation? Your reputation?!" Kitty forced herself not to reach over the seat and strangle him. "Let me tell you something about reputation. Do you know who's got my body right now? Toad! Toad is in my body, and you're worried about people thinking you and Evan are riding in the same car?"   
  


"Toad is in your body?" Pietro whistled. "Hey, good for him! Wow, I hope he's having fun."   
  


"Oh, I hope so, too, cuz I'm gonna kill him as soon as he's back in his own body. His hours are seriously numbered!"   
  


Pietro's eyes widened, but he kept quiet for once. He stared at Amanda and started to grin, rather impressed with her. Hey, despite getting him involved in this mess, if she could wreak this much havoc in the X-geeks' lives, she couldn't be all bad!   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


"Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-three bottles of beer on the wall," Toad sang, "nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-three bottles of beer! Take one down an' pass it around! Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-two bottles of beer on the -"   
  


"Enough!" Logan roared. He held his head in misery. When Toad had started the song by singing "One million bottles of beer on the wall", he hadn't been particularly worried. Honestly, he didn't think the kid would be able to count down from a million, and it would end there. But one million had turned to nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine, which had turned to nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-eight, and so on. Toad was showing no signs of stopping or losing count. Even worse, he'd taken to jumping on the couch to punctuate each new bottle of beer on the wall. Logan was beginning to develop motion sickness from watching him.   
  


"Nine hundred ninety-nine thou -"   
  


"I said enough, and I meant enough!" Logan stomped over to the couch, reached up, and grabbed Toad by the back of the neck. "Now sit down and keep quiet!"   
  


"Ow! Okay, okay! Geez, I wish everyone would stop doin that!" Toad rubbed his neck as soon as Logan released him. "Why don'tcha give Kitty another black eye while you're at it, yo?"   
  


"I don't want to hear another word out of any of you," Logan said, glaring around the room. In truth, this really wasn't fair. Kurt and Evan were sitting quietly in two chairs, doing their homework. Even Lance was behaving, keeping himself busy by dealing out hand after hand of Solitaire. Toad was the only one he was really annoyed with. Patience had never been one of his virtues, and now the kid was getting on his last nerve.   
  


Toad flopped back against the couch and sighed. It wasn't like he was trying to annoy anyone. He was just bored. Very bored. There was absolutely nothing to do in the study, and Wolverine wouldn't let him leave the room. The others were no help, either. The two X-geeks were completely ignoring him, and the only attention Lance paid him was simply to shoot irritated glances his way whenever he distracted him from the game of Solitaire. Like it mattered. Toad knew he was cheating, anyway.   
  


For the first time in his life, he was looking forward to the return of the other X-geeks.   
  


Lance gathered the cards together and attempted to shuffle them. Just when he thought he was getting the hang of using Kurt's three-fingered hands, the cards got away from him. He watched in dismay as fifty-two playing cards went flying through the air and fluttered down around him. Glaring at Kurt, he asked, "How do you get anything done with these hands?"   
  


"I'm used to them," Kurt replied without looking up from his science book.   
  


While Lance tried to hunt down all the spilled cards, a door slammed downstairs. He dropped the cards he'd salvaged and jumped to his feet. "Is that them? Are they back?"   
  


"I'll check." Logan walked to the door and leaned out. A second later he called, "Well, it's about time. Hey, what are they doing here?"   
  


"We invited them for a tea party. What do you think they're doing here?" a cross voice replied.   
  


Lance and Toad exchanged a look. "Yo, was that Pietro?" Toad asked.   
  


"Uh-oh." Evan rolled his eyes. "You know what that means? The body-switcher strikes again. I say we quit trying to figure out who's who and just start calling everyone 'hey you'."   
  


Logan held up one finger and stepped out of the study, pulling the door shut behind him. He looked at the group of kids gathered in the hallway and shook his head. "Forget it. I'm not gonna ask what happened. I don't think I really want to know. I've already dealt with this situation once today, and once is enough for me. What I am going to ask is, where are the professor and Storm?"   
  


"They're downstairs putting Amanda Jensen in an observation room. Professor Xavier said to tell you you're relieved of your duties up here. He'll let us know when Amanda regains consciousness," Jean said.   
  


Logan raised an eyebrow. "Then I don't have to keep you all locked up in the study anymore?"   
  


"Locked up? What're you running here, a prison?"   
  


Logan looked at the person who had spoken, one of two kids not wearing a nametag. "Can I assume you're not really Scott?"   
  


"That's a pretty safe assumption," the real Scott said. "That's Pietro. And no, we don't have to stay in the study. We've been released on our own recognizance, as long as we don't try to leave the Institute."   
  


Pietro edged around until he was behind Logan, then flung open the study door. Four expectant faces turned to him. He took a look at the nametags and started laughing. "Hey, Toad, is that really you in there?"   
  


"Yeah . . ." Toad narrowed his eyes. "Who're you?"   
  


"Looks like it's time for more nametags," Logan muttered.   
  


Rogue caught Jean's eye. "See? What did I tell you?" she whispered.   
  


"Don't bother. I don't need a nametag." Pietro glanced around, then grabbed a black marker pen off the desk. He uncapped it and wrote his name in crooked letters across his forehead. "See?"   
  


"Maximoff!" Scott shouted. "That's a permanent marker!"   
  


"So?" Pietro looked at the pen, then shrugged and tossed it over his shoulder. "I'm sure it'll wear off eventually."   
  


Fred looked speculatively at the marker as it landed and rolled to a stop at his feet. He moved to pick it up, but was stopped by Jean. "Don't even think about it," she told him.   
  


Looking back and forth between Pietro and Jean, Evan sighed in relief. "At least he's not in my body," he said to Kurt.   
  


"Ugh. I'd sooner kill myself," Pietro shot back. "Drive one of those stupid spikes through my heart. Make a really big one and impale myself on it. Throw myself under a train. Or a bus. Or off a bridge. Or -"   
  


"We get the point!" Evan shouted. The ground began shaking. "Uh-oh."   
  


"Tranquil pond! Tranquil pond! Think of the tranquil pond!" Kurt exclaimed.   
  


"Tranquil pond?" Pietro snorted. "Where did that come from?"   
  


"Forget it," Logan growled. He moved to the stairs and called over his shoulder, "I guess you kids are on your own. Try not to destroy anything important."   
  


Before the last word was out of Logan's mouth, Toad was off the couch and making for the door. Kitty grabbed him as he passed. "Where do you think you're going?"   
  


"Uh . . ." Toad checked the nametag and gulped. It was just his luck that the person who was the angriest with him also happened to now be the biggest person in the house. "I was just gonna go watch tv. Where's the nearest tv?"   
  


"In there." Kitty pointed down the hall to the common area. "I'll go with you. I am going to be your shadow. From now on, you're not leaving my sight. Got it?"   
  


Toad sent a desperate look at his friends in the study. Pietro and Lance both looked back at him with considerable sorrow. They each raised a hand and waved good-bye to him.   
  


As Kitty began dragging him down the hall, he frantically tried to figure out how to slide through her grasp, with no luck. He held his arms out to the Brotherhood and X-Men alike.   
  


"Help me!"   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Downstairs, in the secret recesses of the Institute, Logan and Xavier stared through the observation window at Amanda, lying on the room's one bed. As they watched, she stretched and rolled over on her side, facing the window. Although her eyelids were starting to flutter a bit, she was still unconscious.   
  


Logan shook his head. "Hard to believe this one kid could cause so much trouble."   
  


The professor didn't answer. He continued to watch the girl for a moment, then turned to look up at Logan. "We may have a problem."   
  


"Another one?"   
  


"Amanda's control over her ability may be even less than I had originally thought. I don't believe she can control who is switched with whom. I could be wrong, but if I'm not, this could prove a more difficult task than I first estimated. We won't know for certain until she wakes up."   
  


"Hmm." Logan sighed. "So what do we do now?"   
  


"We wait."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


to be continued . . .   
  



	9. The End Is The Beginning Is The End

A/N: Gabba Gabba Hey!   
  
  
  


Chapter 9: "The End Is The Beginning Is The End"   
  
  
  


The common area of the mansion was full. For lack of a better place to wait, almost all the kids had gathered in front of the tv. Although the television was on, it wasn't being given too much attention. Kitty was still keeping a very close eye on Toad, who in turn was warily watching her. He was ready to run if she should make any aggressive move toward him. Or any move at all, for that matter.   
  


Jean's attention was fully occupied by Fred. So far, at least as far as she could tell, he didn't appear to have any depraved intentions toward her body. He had stared down at himself curiously a few times, but for the most part he was looking around with great interest at everyone else in the room. Occasionally, a very confused or very serious look would cross his face. Jean figured he was probably using her telepathy to read the others' thoughts. She guessed it wasn't the end of the world, as long as he didn't use the telekinesis to hurl anything across the room. Besides, it likely wouldn't do any good to ask him to stop.   
  


Kurt, Evan, and Rogue were lined up across one couch. They each seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Every once in a while, one of them would reach for the remote control and flip through the channels on the tv. Nobody really cared what was on, and they usually ended up back on whatever they'd been watching prior to the channel flipping.   
  


The only three missing from the scene were Scott, Lance, and Pietro.   
  


A few minutes earlier, Scott had decided to go searching for the other two, who had disappeared from the study when no one was looking. By this time, they could be anywhere in the mansion. In fact, there was no guarantee they were even still in the mansion. When Scott realized that, he began sweeping the house from top to bottom, hoping they hadn't managed to sneak out. Letting those two loose in Bayville to masquerade as himself and Kurt would be a disaster!   
  


As he walked down the hall, the bathroom door suddenly flew open and Pietro stepped out. Scott looked past him, then switched his glare directly to him. "What were you doing in there?"   
  


"It's the bathroom. What do you think I was doing in there?" Pietro smirked and shoved past him.   
  


"Where's Alvers?"   
  


"How should I know? What am I, his baby-sitter?"   
  


Scott sighed and grabbed Pietro by the arm. "Come on. You're going back to the common room. And you're going to stay there!"   
  


"No, I'm not! Hey, let go of me!" Pietro tried to pull away. "You can't tell me what to do!"   
  


Scott started to pull off one of Rogue's gloves. "Don't make me take you out, Maximoff," he threatened.   
  


Pietro considered for a split second, then sighed. "Okay, okay. Don't go all psycho on me."   
  


When they entered the common area, Scott motioned to Rogue. "Keep an eye on him, all right? I'm going to look for Lance."   
  


"Sure. Have fun." Rogue waved an arm apathetically.   
  


"Her keep an eye on me?!" Pietro shook his head. "Hey, I should be keeping an eye on her! You know, to make sure she doesn't do any damage to the temple."   
  


Rogue rolled her eyes. "Oh, would you stop calling it that?"   
  


"Do you have any idea where Lance might have gone?" Scott asked Pietro.   
  


"Nope." He smirked again. "You're on your own."   
  


"Thanks. You're a big help." Scott left the room to continue his search. He tried not to worry. After all, how much trouble could Lance have possibly caused in such a short amount of time?   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Lance looked at his surroundings in dismay. The surface under his feet was slanted, and he was in serious danger of losing his balance, especially since he wasn't entirely used to Kurt's feet. He gave up on standing and reached out to steady himself. Carefully, he lowered himself to a sitting position.   
  


In retrospect, he had to admit that experimenting with Kurt's teleporting abilities probably hadn't been the best idea in the world.   
  


He scooted to the edge of the roof and peeked down at the ground, barely visible in the dark. From his position, it seemed about a thousand miles away.   
  


Well, great. Lance groaned. How was he supposed to get down? He guessed he could try teleporting down, but he wasn't sure that was such a great idea. Wasn't that what had gotten him into this situation in the first place? Then again, he didn't have a lot of options. Still, with his luck, he'd be aiming for the ground and end up rematerializing half in the ground!   
  


Coming to a decision, he cautiously stood up, holding on to the side of the chimney for balance. If he could avoid falling, he would search the roof for a way down. If he didn't find one, he would try the whole teleportation thing again.   
  


He hoped it wouldn't come to that.   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


For the last ten minutes, Amanda Jensen had been slowly waking up. Professor Xavier monitored her closely through the observation room window. When she sat up and began looking around the room, he moved to the door.   
  


"You going in there, Charles?" Logan asked.   
  


"Yes. Why don't you keep an eye on things from out here?" Xavier touched a few buttons on the keypad beside the door. The door slid open, allowing him to roll through. When he was inside the room, the door slid shut again.   
  


Amanda regarded him suspiciously. "Look, I don't know what you want or how you got me here, but -"   
  


Holding up a hand placatingly, Xavier said, "Miss Jensen, please -"   
  


"I don't know how you know my name, either, but this is kidnapping, you know."   
  


"My intention is not to hold you against your will," the professor started, but was cut off once again by Amanda.   
  


"Oh yeah? That's why you knocked me out and abducted me?"   
  


"We meant you no harm, but I'm afraid it was necessary. You've created a situation which it seems only you can repair."   
  


"Oh. That." Amanda bit her lip. "You know, the first time that happened, I accidentally made my parents switch places. But that was easy to fix. That was only two people. This is different. I really don't think I can repair it. I don't have a lot of control over who goes where, you know? It's just sorta random. So you may as well let me outta here, cuz I really don't think I can help you."   
  


Xavier shook his head. "I've taken all of that into consideration, and I believe there is a way to rectify this situation despite your lack of control. Are you willing to try? There are ten young people out there whose futures depend on your decision."   
  


She thought it over, then sighed in something close to resignation. "And then you'll let me go?"   
  


"Of course."   
  


"Oh, fine." She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Resting her chin on her knees, she asked, "So what's this brilliant plan of yours?"   
  


The professor smiled and sent a telepathic summons to the ten young people, X-Men and Brotherhood alike. He then settled in and proceeded to explain his idea to Amanda.   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Lance's footing slipped as Xavier's voice blasted through his skull. He had time to utter one hoarse shriek before he slid down the length of the roof. The shingles bit into his stomach as he flew down them at approximately a thousand miles per hour. His feet hit the edge of the roof, then kicked at thin air. In the nick of time, he caught the edge of the rain gutter with his hands. His downward momentum abruptly halted.   
  


"Alvers? Is that you? What are you doing up there?" a voice below him called.   
  


Clutching the gutter, Lance tried to crane around to get a look at the person below. Scott stood on the lawn in a puddle of illumination from the porch light. "What am I doing up here?" Lance laughed harshly. "I'm doing chin-ups. What does it look like I'm doing up here, Summers? I'm hanging on for dear life!"   
  


"Oh." Scott squinted through the glare from the porch light. "Well, we're supposed to meet Professor Xavier down in the observation room now."   
  


"Yeah, well, if you've got any bright ideas on how I'm supposed to get down from here, I'm not ashamed to admit I'd love to hear them!"   
  


Scott frowned. "How did you get up there in the first place? By teleporting?"   
  


The gutter was starting to make a very ominous creaking sound. Lance nervously glanced up at it, then shouted, "Yeah, okay? By teleporting! Now how do I get down?"   
  


"Maybe you should try teleporting again."   
  


"You think that's a good idea?"   
  


Shrugging, Scott called, "What other choice is there?"   
  


Lance looked up at the creaking gutter again. As much as he hated to admit it, Summers had a point. There really weren't any other choices, and by the sound of it, the gutter would be giving up any second now. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on the ground. Still afraid of teleporting into solid matter, he aimed for a spot about a foot off the ground. With a poof of sulfurous smoke, he disappeared from the roof.   
  


And reappeared five feet off the ground.   
  


Shrieking, Lance fell the five feet, landing on his back with a thump. The wind temporarily knocked out of him, all he could manage was a small, breathless "Oof."   
  


Scott looked down at him. "You okay, Alvers?"   
  


Lance carefully sat up and rubbed his back. "You mean besides the three crushed vertebrae? Yeah, I'm great."   
  


"Good. Let's go. Amanda's awake and the professor has a plan to straighten this out."   
  


Jumping to his feet, Lance exclaimed, "Well, it's about time!"   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Outside the observation room, the rest of the switched kids were gathered, plus Logan, Ororo, and Professor Xavier. As Lance and Scott reached their position, the professor nodded at them. He held up a piece of paper he'd been writing on and addressed the group.   
  


"We're going to have to do this a little differently than I had first thought. Amanda is not able to dictate who switches bodies with whom -"   
  


"So we're doing it my way?" Pietro interrupted. "Throw everyone in there and start switching til we get it right?"   
  


"Not exactly, but close. I propose you go in two at a time until everyone has been returned to their own body. Of course, it means most of you will be making an additional switch, but it will only last until the next person enters the room." Xavier indicated the paper he still held. "I've made a chart of the necessary pairings and the order in which it will have to be done."   
  


Kitty took a look at the sheet of paper. "Hey, this puts both Evan and Jean in my body before I get it back! Why can't I go first?"   
  


Pietro grabbed the chart and skimmed it. "You?! What about me? He's got me last! And - Ack! Do you have to put Summers in my body to do this? Man, this sucks!"   
  


"Yes, Mr. Maximoff, I'm sure it does suck. Nevertheless, it is the best way." Xavier took back his chart and pointed to Lance and Kurt. "The two of you are up first. Then, Lance, you stay in the room and I'll send in Evan."   
  


"Wait a minute," Evan protested. "Wouldn't that put me in Toad?"   
  


"Only until I send Jean in." The professor sighed. "There are other combinations we could go through, but I'm sure at least one of you would find something wrong with every single one of them. This is the one we're going with. However, we need to get started. Lance, Kurt?" He motioned them toward the observation room where Amanda was waiting.   
  


The boys looked at each other and shrugged. As they entered the room, Kurt murmured, "I sure hope all this switching around is safe."   
  


Lance watched the door as it slid shut behind them. "I don't know, but I'm not looking forward to being Toad, even if it is only for a minute."   
  


"It's actually not so bad once you get used to it," Kurt allowed.   
  


They stopped talking and looked at Amanda, who was staring back at them evenly. Kurt raised a hand and waved awkwardly. "Um, hi."   
  


"Hey." Amanda sighed. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"   
  


"I agree." Lance swept his arm out in a mocking gesture. "Please, do your thing already."   
  


"No problem."   
  


With no further discussion, she produced one of the iridescent spheres. It spread over the two boys, then popped like a soap bubble. The boys wobbled on their feet, then steadied themselves and looked at one another. Kurt grinned.   
  


He was back!   
  
  
  


X X X X X X X   
  
  
  


Fifteen minutes later, it was over. Everyone was back in their rightful bodies and the nametags had been joyfully discarded. The kids remained gathered around Xavier as Amanda exited the observation room and looked at them. She shrugged awkwardly. "Okay, so, uh . . . I guess I'll be going now."   
  


"Amanda, wait a moment," the professor said. "You're welcome to stay here at the Institute if you wish."   
  


She laughed. "Right. No offence, but I really don't ever want to see any of you again. In fact, I think I'm gonna leave the state or something."   
  


"Good riddance," Lance muttered.   
  


Glaring at him, she whirled on her heel and started down the hall. At the first juncture, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Okay, how do I find my way outta here?"   
  


"Ororo, show her out," Xavier instructed.   
  


She nodded, and she and Amanda disappeared around the corner. The remaining group looked around at one another. Suddenly Pietro burst into laughter and pointed at Scott. "Man, you look like such a dork!"   
  


With a start, Scott realized Pietro's name was still emblazoned across his forehead in black permanent marker. He groaned and ran down the hall, headed for the nearest bathroom. He hoped the marker would wash off without too much trouble.   
  


The four Brotherhood members continued to laugh until Kitty glared at Toad and demanded, "What are you laughing at? I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. Especially since you're back in your own body and there's nothing to stop me from killing you now!"   
  


Toad's eyes widened. Without a word, he leapt past her and ran down the hall.   
  


"Hey, come back here!" Kitty yelled, and proceeded to chase him.   
  


The rest of the group watched the chase until Toad and Kitty turned a corner. As they debated going to Toad's aid (or perhaps to Kitty's), they suddenly heard Scott's voice thunder,   
  


"Hey! Who shaved my legs?!"   
  


Pietro grinned. "Oops. Heh-heh, time to go!"   
  


Pandemonium.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


stay tuned; there's still an epilogue on the way . . .   
  
  
  



	10. Epilogue: Aftershocks

A/N: I got an interesting review from someone calling her- or himself "Amanda Hater". They said her name ought to be "Amanturnedintoagirl" and she should get brutally murdered by Sabertooth. LOL! And here I thought her name should be "Amanda Hugginkiss". People are strange . . . Anyway, my Amanda is gone now. Make up where she went yourself if it makes you happy. My personal feeling is, she went back to wreak havoc in Denton, Ohio. Ta!   
  
  
  


Epilogue - "Aftershocks"   
  
  
  


The sun shone brightly on the campus of Bayville High the next day. In the middle of the quad, the lunch tables were filled with students seeking to escape the four walls of the cafeteria and enjoy their lunch out in the fresh air. In a shady spot under a tree, the X-Men had claimed a table all to themselves. Across the eating area, yet another table was occupied by the Brotherhood. Both groups were making it a point not to look at the other.   
  


At the X-Men table, Scott was intently staring at his image reflected in the spoon he held. He moved the spoon from side to side, up and down, then brought it close to his face and moved it away again, all the time frowning in concentration. "Are you sure you can't see Pietro's name anymore?" he asked the whole table in general.   
  


Jean grabbed his hand and lowered the spoon to the table. "I'm sure, Scott. My make-up covered the marker quite well. Don't worry about it."   
  


He continued to frown. "I don't know. I still feel kind of weird wearing make-up."   
  


"It's only foundation. And it's only to cover the marker. It doesn't look like you're wearing make-up at all," Jean assured him.   
  


"Yeah. Besides, you're not the only one going overboard to cover something up." Kitty gingerly brushed her fingers over her black eye. "Thanks a lot, Kurt."   
  


Kurt immediately went on the defense. "Hey, that was an accident! Anyway, it's not as bad as what Toad did to you."   
  


"Speaking of that," Jean said, "did you talk to your parents yet, Kitty?"   
  


She nodded. "Yeah, this morning. I think I managed to convince them that I was delirious with fever when they were talking to Toad. At least I hope I did. Otherwise, they're gonna think I've completely lost my mind. So, have you talked to Duncan yet?"   
  


"Yes, right before lunch." Jean glanced at Scott through the corner of her eye, noting with satisfaction the half-jealous, half-ashamed expression on his face. "I explained that I don't really spend the entire day washing my hair, and I told him my schedule opened up. We're going out tomorrow."   
  


Scott tried not to sigh. He picked up the spoon again and went back to inspecting his forehead.   
  
  
  
  
  


At the Brotherhood table, Tabitha Smith was busy interrogating her housemates. She bounced up and down on the bench and demanded, "C'mon, where were you guys last night?"   
  


"Aw, forget it, Tabby," Toad whined.   
  


"Yeah, it doesn't matter, anyway," Lance agreed.   
  


She ignored them and zeroed in on Fred and Pietro. "And you two! Where did you guys go, huh? I waited and waited at the movie theater, but you never came in! Where'd you disappear to?"   
  


"Uh . . ." Fred looked around for help.   
  


"Maybe we found something better to occupy our time," Pietro said.   
  


"Sure you did, Speedy." Tabitha smirked. "C'mon, really, where were you guys?"   
  


"Hey, I don't have to take this! I'm leaving!" Pietro got up and dodged around the tables in his way, sights set on the X-Men table. He sidled up to the table and threw himself onto the bench beside Rogue. Ignoring the glares he received from the others at the table (including Rogue herself), he slipped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, how's it going?"   
  


"What do you want?" Rogue asked, shrugging his arm off.   
  


Not one to be put off by a simple thing like disinterest (or outright disdain), Pietro flipped around on the bench and leaned against the table. He grinned at Rogue. "So, now that you've had the privilege of checking out the Magnificent Maximoff Machine firsthand, how do you feel about the prospect of going out with me tomorrow?"   
  


"Nauseous," Rogue replied, totally deadpan.   
  


Pietro's eyes narrowed. "Fine. I'm more than you can handle, anyway." He stood and took off across the quad, pausing just long enough to call over his shoulder, "You just don't know what you're missing!"   
  


"Actually, I do," Rogue called back.   
  


He gave no indication that he'd heard her. When he arrived back at the Brotherhood table, he found Tabitha still harassing Toad.   
  


"Oh, come on, Toddy," she cajoled, "if you won't tell me where you guys were, at least tell me why you came home with a bloody nose! Please?"   
  


"No." Toad crossed his arms defensively over his chest.   
  


"Then tell me how you got that black eye."   
  


"I don't wanna talk about it!" He desperately considered crawling under the table to hide.   
  


"So why were you limping when you came home?"   
  


"I really don't wanna talk about it, yo!"   
  


"Oh, fine. Be that way." Tabitha glared at all four boys. Something had happened to them last night, she was sure of it. If they didn't want to let her in on it, who needed them? Oh, sure, she'd let them get away with keeping her in the dark for a little while. But if they knew what was good for them, they'd tell her eventually. Yes, they would soon see how unpleasant life in the Brotherhood house could be when they kept secrets from her!   
  


"What're you smilin' about?" Toad asked suspiciously.   
  


"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all . . . ."   
  
  
  


~The End~   
  
  
  


*sniffle* Yup, that's really the end! *sniffle, sniffle* 


End file.
